Prompt: Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
"Can I see that?" Those four simple words spin me into panic mode; I had never seen anyone show choreography so quickly. I felt the piercing eyes of forty other dancers watching me as I attempted to slide my adrenaline shaking leg into a tondu, before I could even extend my leg I am stopped. "That's not the combination I showed, again", feeling myself start to crumble under the stagnant gaze of my newfound peers, I stammer out an apology. "Stop apologizing! Just focus and get it right", still shaking I returned to my dorm. In that moment I wished I had never left my small hometown to attend the California State Summer School for the Arts (CSSSA). My homesickness then turned to anger, I had finally gotten a solo in a piece and instead of working to make it perfect I was drowning in pool of unwarranted self-pity. That night I practiced for hours and when I returned the next day it was with newfound confidence.
My experience at CSSSA taught me more about myself in a month then I had though possible. I not only was able to sharpen my memory for choreography but also learned to, in the words of Mr. Dawson, "Stop apologizing, focus and get it right", of all the lessons I learned this is the one that stays with me everyday. These seven words taught me to leave my nerves and ego at the door of a challenge, and bring with me motivation and determination.
Dance, like life, is unbelievably frustrating. Everyday I stand at the barre and agonize over every muscle in my body. I look at the perfection of my peers with frustration wishing my arabesque floated to such graceful perfection, and then I remember, moments of frustration are never the time to feel sorry for myself. Moments of frustration are times that test my resilience, strengthen my desire to achieve goals, and most importantly remind me to focus and get it right.
I didn't quite get it while reading - it isn't clear until the end that dance is what matters to you, and only a single paragraph goes towards explaining why that it is. Instead it focuses mostly on an anecdote that has no relevance to the reader yet.
It would probably fit the intellectual vitality prompt better, to be honest, since it describes an experience (your struggle to focus and get it right), and afterwards you think differently and have developed a bit.
