Stanford Essay - Am I Blind or What?

Greetings fellow students! This is my first time posting an essay (after reading literally hundreds of posts by other users). Please feel free to critique my essay and give me some pointers! Thanks.

Topic: Stanford students possess intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
As I peered over my thick glasses, blurs of colors danced before my naked eyes. I winced at my inability to identify their apparent shapes and forms. My eyes twitched with desperation to see the distinct objects rather than mere blobs of colors. Sadly, a pair of glasses has become my closest companion for the last six years. Unable to see more than a foot aware without my glasses, my impaired vision became more problematic especially when I am required to wear my glasses nearly twenty-four hours, seven days a week.

Upon hearing about laser eye surgery, I was thrilled and beyond excited about this miraculous medical procedure that would permanently resolve my obstructed vision. I became intrigued by the process of manipulating the shape of the eyes in laser surgeries. The delicate cuts and precise remodeling of the cornea to reflect light fascinated me. However, what interested me the most was the healing process of the eyes after the procedure. After extensive research about various refractive methods, my desire to undergo laser eye surgery grew along with my hunger to learn more about the after-math of the procedure.

My curiosity in laser surgery perspired into research at a local medical school. At The Medical College of XXX, I conducted research with a team of professors to study the mechanisms that contribute to the healing process of the cornea post-surgery or injury. My research project regarded how thrombin, a key clot promoter that is present in the cornea cells after wounding, would affect the growth factors that regulated the cornea cells during healing. I discovered that thrombin did stimulate the production of certain growth factors. This stimulation may or may not be beneficial to the healing process depending on the particular function of the growth factor because some growth factors may cause blood vessel production (a negative aspect), while others may fuel the production of cell rebuilding molecules (a positive aspect) .

My intellectual curiosity and thus involvement in research provided a scope to the literal eye-changing field of optics. This experience has significantly contributed to both my aspiration and decision to pursue research and engage myself in intellectually stimulating fields of studies.

Unable to see more than a foot away without my glasses, my impaired vision...

However, what interested me the most was the healing process of the eyes after the procedure.

I discovered that thrombin did stimulated the production of certain growth factors.

This stimulation may or may not be beneficial to the healing process, depending on the particular function of the growth factor because some growth factors may cause blood vessel production (a negative aspect), while others may fuel the production of cell rebuilding molecules (a positive aspect).

My intellectual curiosity and thus involvement in research has provided a scope to the literal eye-changing field of optics.

All of this fascinates me! My son actually lost an eye in a bb gun incident, and his prosthetic eye is made with coral, which is porous and bonds to human tissue, allowing it to move in a natural way with his 'good' eye. It's like a miracle! Good luck in school and have fun!

:)