Hey! I would really love if you could take a look at my essay! :) If you want me to check yours, I gladly will, just leave a link and I'll be sure to help you :)
Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience that you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
I settled on the bergère and waited as the sound of the hair dryers echoed down the hall of the beauty salon. A lady sat beside me on the styling chair and rambled on and on about how she wanted to make her hair as straight as an arrow. Indeed, it looked like stainless steel sponge.
After the wash, a hairdresser brought in a cart with all sorts of utensils and the magic began. Repetitively, he pulled out a chunk of hair, applied a gooey product with a brush and rubbed it with his hand. With a styling iron, he carefully dehydrated the woman's sponge and to my surprise the mane was gone. Had her blouse been black too, I would have confused her hair for a sweater's hood.
It was mind-boggling to witness such a radical transformation. The once frizzed hair now looked sleek, and all because of the "blow-dry treatment". The magic was hidden in the product's formula and could be summed up into one word: keratin. Keratin - the same substance that makes up your skin, nails and hair - is a type of tough, elastic and insoluble protein high in sulfur and cystine. Used in its liquid form, this protein penetrates the hair shaft and, with the aid of a 450-degree iron, adheres to inherently rough surfaces, softening and adding shine from the inside, and sealing the hair cuticles on the outside. For two whole months, the lady would have control over her mane.
After all was done, she stood up and gently touched her silky hair. It was no longer a tumbleweed. She smiled from ear to ear and her reddish eyes displayed her satisfaction; at least, that was what I assumed. What cosmetic companies do not advertise, however, is that their products have a high content of formaldehyde, which can irritate eyes and lungs if its fumes are inhaled. And I had thought she was crying tears of happiness...
hello! your essay is very interesting and i like the topic, but i think you spend too much time talking about what you saw. you need to talk more about yourself. so i think i would suggest cutting out some of the detail (though i love some of your details! ) and adding more about yourself.
hope this helps and would you look at mine?
