Hello, I just need some help with this Short Question. I've read many critics talk about answers to this particular question and so I molded my answer in response to their advice. It seems that the general consensus is not to write about something too general or large such as "World Hunger" or "Governmental Corruption" because it often shows ignorance concerning the topic and is cliche. Thus I have written these two answers because they are not cliche topics and are genuine concerns of mine. Please give me advice on them concerning the grammar, depth, and informativeness of them regarding who I am. And keep in mind that I can only choose one of them and that both are within the 50 word range. Thank you so much for taking the time for answering if you do!
The presumption that doing anything by oneself must require a phone in order to seem less embarrassing or awkward. In this day and age, even routine actions such as walking or eating necessitate the use of a phone to alleviate the self-conscious idea that doing something alone is embarrassing.
That many cultural cleavages such as the dissension between South Koreans and North Koreans or Chinese and Japanese still exist today. Moreover, the generations without a historical basis for their contempt fail to scrutinize their reason for their hate which not only hampers cultural harmony, but prevents synergy.
Just to give you background I am Korean but have American citizenship and lived in Japan for 10 years and am now living in China for 3 years before I graduate and go back to the states.
I think the decision here depends on whether you want to come across as a solid or spontaneous person, because you can choose an answer that reflects the person you've shown them in all other parts of your application, or one that's totally different from what can be expected. And no one else but you must decide that. Personally I like the first one, I think it provokes more and is less cliche than the second. Good luck with everything!
Oh, can you comment on my personal statement? Thank you :)
1. - ...anything
by oneselfon your own must require...
- ...such as walking or eating
2. - That many cultural cleavage
s such as the...
- ...reason for their
- which does not only hampers cultural harmony,...
Indeed, this challenges that you mention are quiet logical however I'm not sure if there is a need of focus to this issues specially the 1st one, the 2nd one on the other hand is a challenging issue and an issue that not much writers would want to write.
The questions you made are pressing issues of the society but when you write make sure that you will be objective and remain true to the facts and figures that you will gather.