Stanford Short response "intellectually engaging"

This is the Stanford Supplement:

What do you think? is there anything I should add?

The infinite galaxy

"But how can they never end? How can the numbers not have an end?" I asked my dad with curiosity. He tried to convince my childish questioning by saying that every time you get to a new number all you have to do is add 1 and you'll get another number. I was seven years old then, but until now I still think about the concept of infinity. And as I grew more mature I started to think about other infinite things; such as the never ending galaxy or the eternal after life. Questions roam around my head regarding this concept, like what does infinity look like, is the infinite galaxy just our galaxy repeated, or what will happen in the eternal afterlife, will we just simply live forever? These are questions that I ask an infinite number of times, yet I never get an answer. "It is simply the unknown; the only one who knows of such is God". My mother told me. But I was not pleased with this answer. I had to know more. Recently, we took the concept of infinity in mathematics. This made me wonder even more. If the numbers are really infinite or never ending, how can we give it a value, a symbol, or even use it in mathematical equations.

As for the infinite galaxy, I read an article regarding this concept. The article stated that we can only see a finite section of the universe, due to finite speed of light. That lead me to even more questions, can we see or achieve infinity? If a human travels at the speed of light can he/she live to infinity? Until I get an answer I will keep wondering and thinking of this perplexing and questionable concept until infinity.

Questions roam around my head regarding this concept, like what does infinity look like, is the infinite galaxy just our galaxy repeated, or what will happen in the eternal afterlife, will we just simply live forever?

You can make the questions clearer.. I get your point, but the admissions dude might not..
like saying: is the infinite galaxy nothing but a repetition of ours? Or do the stars and planets fade away, and transform into something new and foreign to us?

Dunno, somethin like that!

Until I get an answer I will keep wondering and thinking of this perplexing and questionable concept until infinity.

It's better if you omit this question and replace it with another more powerful ending. You want to leave a strong impression for the reader to actually remember your essay! ;)

But overall, good job! I like it!

Nice but could use some improvements, especially at the ending.

I think it needs a more solid conclusion. Don't just say "Until I get an answer I will keep wondering and thinking of this perplexing and questionable concept until infinity". Talk about how these activities sparked my curiosity and desire to learn.

Furthermore you can elaborate why your mother's "faith" explanation did not convince you to furhter the curiosity and "intelecutal vitality" in your essay.

Best of luck