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Stanford short essay #1 The Road NOT Taken


monica52310 1 / 2 1  
Nov 21, 2012   #1
Stanford students posses an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.
I can't exceed 2000 characters and I barely have 1737! I just can't find anything else to write about. Should I leave it as it is? Need feedback on it. Thanks! :)

"I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."-Robert Frost

I was a sophomore in a library simply trying to complete another homework assignment, annotating a poem by Robert Frost. I was aware that someday I would have to decide on a certain path to take in life, yet I perceived that moment as being too distant for me to take time to ponder upon. Now, as I stress about presenting myself the way I would like colleges to perceive me, I realize that all my past decisions have led me to this point. This is the moment that will affect my entire life. All my life I have been surrounded by hard working people who have had to make a living through manual labor. A day's worth of work is shown by the calluses and blisters on my father's hands. It would be a lot easier for me to find an excuse to not pursue a path to an education. But then, I would be conforming to society's expectations. I am a young Hispanic girl, caught between the customs of my community and what I believe I am destined for. I can choose to meet the customs of my culture or exceed my own expectations. I have chosen the latter. I look back and dwell upon that girl in the library, confused about what path to take in life. Then, I look towards the woman I am determined to become and I know that regardless of my surroundings I will make the right decision for myself. I will look at the road I have not taken and will desire none of what it has to offer me. I have chosen to make changes, not excuses; to be motivated, not manipulated; to excel, not fail. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I choose to listen to my own voice.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Nov 21, 2012   #2
I was a sophomore in a library simply trying to complete another homework assignment, annotating a poem by Robert Frost.

. ... I feel you better remove the library part here because it sounds as if you were in a library all the time;
I was then a sophomore trying to complete another homework assignment , annotating a poem by Robert Frost

colleges to perceive me

-------- Howabout "admission committees" instead of "Colleges" ?
OP monica52310 1 / 2 1  
Nov 30, 2012   #3
Thank you! :)
Honest opinion though, is it good enough or no?
carlosdave 1 / 4  
Nov 30, 2012   #4
Sounds a bit repetitive. Try deleting phrases that repeat overemphasized ideas and give examples of what you did to take the "road not taken."


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