Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate -- and us -- know you better. (250 word limit.)
Greetings, roommate!
For starters, you should know that I can be a bit high-energy. I often get overly excited about small things and am very enthusiastic about most endeavors ranging from trying new foods to debating the potential of superheroes to spontaneous walks along the beach which, coming from Ohio, will probably fascinate me endlessly. I am a chronic rambler, Batman fanatic, granola bar hoarder, and consider meeting people different from myself a hobby. I am an optimist and value a sense of humor. If I crack up uncontrollably without apparent cause, please humor me (punpunpun!)- It means I made a joke. I possess a very prominent inner dork and art junkie. I am also easily lost in the world of literature; I hope that you will either join me there or allow me to dedicate a corner of our room to a library. I am a thought-addict and believe that the only thing better than saying things that make others think is hearing things that make myself think. I apologize in advance in case I drift off mid-conversation, it usually means I've entered pondering-mode. And finally, beware: I am ridiculously arachnophobic but weak in the actual eight-legged-creepy-crawly-squashing field. I hope you are prepared to be a steadfast spider-slayer. I have heard many things about college, one being that after a year of imprisonment, you and your roommate will surely be arch enemies awaiting only the sweet liberation of graduation... But to this I say, challenge accepted.
Any advice/critique would be much appreciated! Thanks :)
Hey Alisa,
Thanks for being able to read through my essays (and sorry for the slight delay to respond - I got busy yesterday). Anyway, here is how I would rephrase it, though you may want to tweak it up as per your liking:
Original: better than saying things that make others think is hearing things that make myself think
Revision: better than sharing from my bag of knowledge with others is adding more to it.
It's not really perfect, but maybe you could do something along those lines. Good luck, and I hope you get time to read some of my essays, mostly the MIT and Stanford ones (I also wrote this Stanford essay)!
