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Stanford Roommate ('tidy person') and What matters ('I was chubby')


kt94 3 / 9  
Dec 24, 2011   #1
Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear future roommate,
It's great to finally meet you!
I have been anxiously waiting for today to arrive. Coming from Malaysia, living overseas will be a new experience for me. For starters, I'll be experiencing the four seasons for the first time. I cannot wait to teach you all about Malaysian lingo. But for now, I'll try to not let my 'lah's and 'lor's slip out.

I'm a generally tidy person, and like positioning my things at right angles. During exams, I may be a bit of a workaholic (aren't we all?) and go completely into study mode. I need my 8 hours and am normally in bed by 11, so I guess I won't be bothering you with late nights of cramming.

Being a huge fan of music, you'll probably find me humming a tune most of the time. I especially enjoy the vocal stylings of Mariah Carey, but also enjoy Beethoven's piano sonatas. If you play an instrument, I'd love nothing more than to make music with you. If not, we can have wild karaoke sessions if you're up for that. Apart from that, I'm also a pretty decent tennis player and am looking for a partner to practise with.

I have an inordinate amount of stationery. I especially love pens that also have a mechanical pencil function. If you need a pen, I'll lend you two - one to use, and the other as a spare. I may be shy at first, but I become an aggressively loyal friend later on.

Tonight, how about we go for a meal together? I believe that people g. If you see me drooling at a picture of curry on my laptop screen, just know that my mind has wandered off to a happy place.

I probably will be Skype-ing with my family to show them the room, and if you don't mind, I'd like to introduce you to them as well. I cannot wait to read your note and meet you in person. Oh, in case you were wondering, I don't snore. I hope we have a great year together!

P.S. Let's eat at somewhere you like.
(1846/2000 characters)

What matters to you, and why?
A few years back, I was chubby, had unruly hair and was one of the unlucky ones with bad skin. I used to get snide remarks about my appearance. Most of the time, critics are honest about their opinions. Although their words were demoralizing at first, I have learned to take them in a positive light. My experience has taught me that beauty is only skin-deep. When I look around, it is not difficult to find beautiful people who have a completely opposite personality. I realized that a person's character reflects the beauty in his or her heart, and that outward beauty is not indicative of inner beauty.

However, I know that the criticism was meant to make me feel inferior. And yes, I did for a while but I didn't let it bring me down. I started exercising regularly, got better haircuts and took better care of my skin. I saw it as a wake-up call that perhaps I needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle and practise good habits. Although it may sound superficial, I believe that looking presentable goes a long way. Yet, it is always a pleasure to receive constructive criticism from people who have my best interests at heart. They have always guided me and been supportive.

Criticism is ultimately inevitable. It has taught me a lot about myself and the critics themselves. I welcome criticism with open arms as it gives me an opportunity to improve. As I reflect back, I am grateful to all the critics for motivating me to strive for the best and for shaping my moral values. In the end, what matters most to me is having the strength to accept and grow from criticism.

(1573/2000) characters

I had a tough time writing the what matters essay. Please be harsh with both of them.
Thanks!

chipdip - / 12  
Dec 24, 2011   #2
I think the roommate letter has good ideas that reveal quite a lot about your personality/character, but gets disorganized after the tennis bit.

Tonight, how about we go for a meal together? I believe that people g ...? .

Your what matters essay is very sincere, but can you really be grateful for all of the critics and what they had to say? I mean yes, you do benefit from criticism, but there's a difference between constructive criticism and bullying. Because one thing I got from "I welcome criticism with open arms" is that you don't have an opinion of your own, or you let people decide who you are. Does that make sense?

Hope this helps!
OP kt94 3 / 9  
Dec 24, 2011   #3
Thanks, I think you really pointed out what I felt was lacking. I couldn't figure it out at first, but thanks!
OP kt94 3 / 9  
Dec 24, 2011   #4
revised, please take a look, thanks.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.

Dear future roommate,
It's great to finally meet you!
I have been anxiously waiting for today to arrive. Coming from Malaysia, living overseas will be a new experience for me. For starters, I'll be experiencing the four seasons for the first time. I cannot wait to teach you all about Malaysian lingo. But for now, I'll try to not let my 'lah's and 'lor's slip out.

I'm a generally tidy person, and like positioning my things at right angles. During exams, I may be a bit of a workaholic (aren't we all?) and go completely into study mode. I need my 8 hours and am normally in bed by 11, so I guess I won't be bothering you with late nights of cramming.

Being a huge fan of music, you'll probably find me humming a tune most of the time. I especially enjoy the vocal stylings of Mariah Carey, but also enjoy Beethoven's piano sonatas. If you play an instrument, I'd love nothing more than to make music with you. If not, we can have wild karaoke sessions in our room if you're up for that.

I also have an inordinate amount of stationery, and have a fascination with multifunctional pens. If you ever need to borrow one, I'll lend you two - one to use, and one as a spare. I'd like to share my interests with you, and hope that you'll do the same too. As a diehard foodie, you may find me drooling at pictures of curry on my computer screen from time to time.

As it'll be my first night here, I probably will call my family on Skype. If you don't mind, I'd like to introduce you to them as well. I cannot wait to read your note and meet you in person. Oh, in case you were wondering, I don't snore. I hope we have a great year together!

P.S. Later, how about we go for a meal together? It'll be a great way to get to know the area!

What matters to you, and why?
A few years back, I was chubby, had unruly hair and was one of the unlucky ones with bad skin. I used to get snide remarks about my appearance. Most of the time, critics are honest about their opinions. Although their words were demoralizing at first, I knew that they only contained a single grain of truth and have learned to take them in a positive light. My experience has taught me that beauty is only skin-deep. When I look around, it is not difficult to find beautiful people who have a completely opposite personality. I realized that a person's character reflects the beauty in his or her heart, and that outward beauty is not indicative of inner beauty.

However, I know that the criticism was meant to make me feel inferior. And yes, I did for a while but I didn't let it bring me down. I started exercising regularly, got better haircuts and took better care of my skin. I saw it as a wake-up call that perhaps I needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle and practise good habits. Although it may sound superficial, I believe that looking presentable goes a long way. Yet, it is always a pleasure to receive constructive criticism from people who have my best interests at heart. They have always been supportive while their words inspired me to push myself to new heights.

Criticism is ultimately inevitable. It has taught me a lot about myself and the critics themselves. I have learned to filter criticism and to heed the advice embedded in them(not too happy with this sentence: I want to say that I take only the good parts out). I am truly thankful for the people who care for me for motivating me and for shaping my moral values. In the end, what matters most to me is having the strength to accept and grow from criticism.

thanks.
chipdip - / 12  
Dec 24, 2011   #5
Much better on both!

I have learned to filter criticism and to heed the advice embedded in them.

I actually think that sentence is perfectly fine.


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