Prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.
I do not know if I am answering the question. Please look for anything bad with it. Any feedback will be accepted and appreciated.
This is rough draft I wrote just 15 min ago.
I was fourteen years old when I first read "The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote de la Mancha" by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. And I have changed drastically since then. I have always been an active learner in academics, arts, and cultures; I have learned in a daily basis about every subject, I have learned music to show my passions through it, and I have learned to read (in English and Spanish) archaic books because of my desire to learn about the past in order to know about the present.
After rereading "The Quixote" in English, I realize now, in my seventeenth year of life, that I am still a rookie in the game of knowledge, however, I know the basic principle of this game--there are no rules. I decide what and how I want to learn. And as I have come to learn more about Cervantes, his passions, his desires, and his thoughts, I realized that the power of language is one of these subjects I want to learn about, because I know that if masterly used, a powerful language might allow me to alter facts in one way or another in order to achieve my desired goals.
"Is Don Quixote crazy?" my brother asked me when reading Cervantes, a master of the Spanish language, lying on the brown carpet of my bedroom. I replied "Is he?" No answer. No rational individual is able to define insanity in a sentence or paragraph just as no one is able to be sure of being right or wrong about anything in this world. But we can define it, right?
Socrates' "Elenchus", used by Cervantes, explains that for any matter in this world there will be more than one opinion, comment, or critique. Thus, I read "The Quixote" for the first time and I found my desired discovery at that time. Liberty. I read "The Quixote" for the second time and still found my desired discovery, but at a new time. Love. How is this possible? Am I crazy to think that I can change so quickly and so differently? Yes. Maybe. No.
In this masterful piece of lecture, I aimed to fetch the possible reason to believe that this was the best book written in the Spanish language. Fortunately, I found it. It is...the fact that you have options, you decide what you want to believe. My mother told me once: "If you need to believe in something that is not your desire to believe, but others, you will never reach the sky." "What is that I believe in?" Myself.
Why hello [:
"when referring to academics" - maybe change that word? sounds a bit awkward in context.
"with which I am in love" - I think this is pretty much implied in the first part of that sentence, so you could do without - sounds a tad odd.
"argumentation of " - maybe change that to "for" or some other word
I think the "brown carpet" thing is kind of unnecessary, but that may just be me.
That little segment confuses me slightly - so you're saying that we live in a world where there's a lot of gray area, and people will always look at things in their own perspective? --- I like that. But then again, I could have gotten the idea wrong. Maybe make it a bit more clear?
"carpe diem quam minimum credula postero" - ahh that's really long *__*
"I quite understand what Cervantes wanted us to realize (how we might think something is wrong when is right or vice versa), but I do understand how he knew we were going to realize the reasons for some unreasons." - The "but" in the second part should be referring to the fact that you couldn't do something in the first... but yet, in both parts you say that you understand something. Did you mean that you don't quite understand, in the beginning?
The last sentence is a bit awkward.
Overall, this sounds really cool and unique and... deep [: I think think you need to gather your thoughts a little better. Then it'll probably kick butt - good luck!
Thank you Tuhina...
I will change those parts immediately...
haha.. I just read again that last sentence and it really is very awkward. I think I did not know what I was writing at that time...I still like that last part though..the reason for some unreasons...what do you think??
Can you read my other essay, please.. =)
hmm I actually like that very last bit too, but it took me a few reads to sort of understand what you meant - and those adcom officers don't have much time to spare, you know what I mean O_o
alrighty, going to go read your other one now!
Does it make sense? Is it clear and fluent? Please leave comments and suggestions about anything. I am very tired as of right now so please help me. Thank you. =)
I will comment back and help in whatever I can. =P
I was fourteen years old when I first read "The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote de la Mancha" by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. And I have changed drastically since then. vague
academics is the same thing as what you continue to list (art, etc.) Don't throw the word academics around.
Be more specific, what about Cervantes thoughts touched you?
Take out this, for it doesn't add anything: Yes.Maybe.No.
And you mention 'love'. Why did you throw that word in?
otherwise, solid essay with unique theme.
appreciate it if u read mine. beach dodgeball :)
