Tell us about an intellectual experience, project, class, or book that has influenced or inspired you.
The night sky is my sanctuary. When my spirit threatens to crumble under the pressures of life, stargazing restores my mind to zero-gravity. There are no limits to my musing; each silvery thought may slip free of its cranium vessel and progress unrestrained by the laws of the physical world, reaching ever-higher into the ubiquitous night sky. Looking up, I am humbled by its sheer immensity. The very idea that space is infinite and everlasting counters all tangible logic.
And yet it is so.
Pondering this abstract truth, the gravity of my daily worries seems to dissipate.
The flickering stars are my time machine. My eager eyes comb the endless expanse for a faint smudge found only on moonless nights - the Andromeda Galaxy. My search is rewarded. Gazing at the celestial body, I try to comprehend that I am traveling two and a half million years into the past. The image on my retina is not of how the galaxy looks tonight; it is the light that left the galaxy over two million years ago. It is a memory. It is eternal. If a star in that galaxy had burned out years ago, I would not know. In my world, it is still alive, brilliant in the perpetual darkness.
If these stars can influence my life long after their flame expires, then perhaps my accomplishments have the ability to impact change long after my time as well. Staring into the night sky, I am inspired to make the most of the life I have been given. If, like a single star in the glittering continuum, my life has the potential to make even the slightest impression on the pages of the history, then I am determined to make sure that change is for the better.
Nearby movement lowers my mind back into its corporal dwelling. It is my sister, beckoning me inside. My stargazing is complete for tonight. As I return to reality, I steal one more glimpse of the masterpiece above me. A star shoots brilliantly across the ample background; with any luck, one day so will I.
______________________________________________________________________ _________
I'm aware the end in unforgivably cheesy. If you have any idea how to make it better, I'm happy to hear it.
Also, do you think that even counts as an intellectual experience? Is it far enough out there to be unique but not too far that it actually doesn't follow what the prompt expects?
I would reflect more upon why it is the night sky holds such sway over you-make the intellectual experience you musings on your own feelings about it-not only is this a creative intellectual experience, it is what adcoms love-reflective. As for the last paragraph, to me, it is underwhelming to conclude with your sister calling you in. End on some thought provoking notion. The last paragraph could even be more about the sensations of returning to corporeal existence. That is, the rush of sense. The smell of fresh cut summer grass. The sweet honeysuckle wafting through the warm breeze. The incomparability of nature's beauty to the sensation of enlightened thought. Or even the thought of where you stood among the vastness of eternity-how the earthly sensations that seemed so immediate only served to remind you that the earth is among the heavens as well, a single point in the unfathomable plane of the celestial realm. All in all, you're off to an amazing start. Your diction really conjured the experience in my mind. That's what took this essay above the ordinary in my mind-the diction.
It's funny you should say that because I originally didn't have the sister nonsense and ended it like this - I think you'll love it:
Suppose, somewhere in the extent of space, there was a resident of the Andromeda galaxy, gazing deeply into the night as I am now. Tonight, they may observe Earth's early formation. Two and a half million years from now - long after my breathing falls silent, long after the breathing of perhaps all of humanity falls silent - they may see me, lying on my rooftop, searching for understanding, and for a moment, I may live again.
But I changed it to better fit the prompt. What do you think I should do?
Definitely the latter. It was...amazing. An intellectual experience is a very open concept, and that last paragraph definitely showed contemplation. I STRONGLY recommend using the second one.
Thanks for the support, it killlllllled me to change it in the first place. I'm just nervous because they seem to be talking about intellectual like books or classes.
They're Brown, they know that pretty much everyone applying could write about hum drum books. Only a few special people can find intellectual merit in normal experiences. Hmm, ironic. haha
Agreed. Did you apply to Stanford? this essay was written for their "intellectually engaging" prompt.
Oh, and I sent the other essay btw.
Thanks for everything. Good help is so hard to find haha
I'm completing my stanford app tomorrow. well, today, i guess. When its all said and done ill have applied to harvard, princeton, yale, stanford, brown, columbia, duke, vanderbilt, and the university of mississippi. Luckily for me, I write versatile essays.
