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How to start a Letter of Appeal (so that it's not over dramatic)?


WendyLi7 1 / 1  
Mar 21, 2010   #1
Hi guys!

I really need help on writing a letter of appeal to the University of Irvine, California. I am not sure how to start the letter. I've read that I should not mentioned divorces or sick parents because it's over dramatic? Any suggestions?

-Wendy Li
aspiringRN2010 - / 1  
Mar 21, 2010   #2
If the admissions office explained why you weren't admitted I'd cater your letter towards that very reason. Give examples of how you are capable with anecdotes of academic achievements that might have gone unnoticed because they happened recently or from other achievements you did not include in your original application. It would also help if you included a letter of recommendation from one of your teachers right now that can put you in a very good light. I hope this helps!

Good luck!
comet2000 10 / 48  
Mar 21, 2010   #3
something like state the reason on why you are writing an appeal letter, write about your personal hardship that you are going through and how it affect on your academic record.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 22, 2010   #4
I've read that I should not mentioned divorces or sick parents because it's over dramatic?

Well, sometimes the most powerful thing is to tell the truth. It's therapeutic, too. So, you may sound dramatic or not, regardless of what you write about. The way to not sound melodramatic is to not even make too many excuses, but instead to focus on describing a clear plan for the future.

Sometimes a plan can be so clear and thoughtful, as well as socially and environmentally responsible, and ethically inspirational... sometimes a plan can be explained so clearly with such detail that it PROVES that you are a promising citizen/professional... someone who deserves a chance.

Yeah, a good plan really proves something... because so many of us do not have a plan! :-)
OP WendyLi7 1 / 1  
Mar 22, 2010   #5
Hrrrm, I see I see! Thanks for your inputs guys!! :))

I wrote some part of it today and I was wondering if anyone can I revise the letter?

That would be beyond awesome! :)))

_____________
....

Furthermore, I am very interested in your school because of the opportunity to experience a week-long international study trip in schools in Asia and Europe-two of my favorite destinations. I am interested in international business culture, and I am always ready to see the global business in a different perspective. I am driven and motivated to try new experiences as I have in the past. For example, since I applied to your school, I have competed in the Northern California Leadership Development Conference (LDC) for DECA (Distributive Education Clubs of America), an association of marketing students. This is the first I participated in this event and was placed in the top 10 finalists among other different schools. I spend this time designing a new training program for the Westin St. Francis Hotel located in San Francisco for the Hospitality and Tourism Operations (HOR) event. My teammates and I conducted interview questions to interview the Human Resources Manager and developed a survey for employees. I devote this time by preparing charts, verifying schedules, following up on any issues, and writing a written report on the new training program. With so much time given to DECA, I still kept my grades up and received the highest G.P.A. of my four years during high school=4.2. Continuing to work in the foundation of this degree is an important part of my goals. I know I can be an asset to UC Irvine because of my commitment to your Merage School's visionary curriculum and other programs with similar goals.

Personally, UC Irvine is not too far away from my parent's home where I can visit them occasionally. I want to be close to my parents throughout my college experience because they are a huge priority for me. Knowing that my parents are close enough to me, I can do a much better job in The Paul Merage School of Business. I can also help my mother's small local business branch out with the new knowledge and experiences I will gain. Not only is UC Irvine closet to my parents, many of family members reside nearby and will be a great support system for me.

I believe I would be a great strength for the UC Irvine, The Paul Merage School of Business class of 2014. UC Irvine curriculum is well-matched to my goals and learning techniques. I can be a valuable student in the abundant opportunities offered by your school. I am confident your school can help me succeed as the first generation college student to graduate in becoming an excellent entrepreneur your school can be proud to claim as alumni. If you have any questions or need any additional information, please contact me or e-mail me. Thank you for your time and consideration.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Mar 24, 2010   #6
Asia and Europe-two of my favorite destinations .

I would get rid of this part, because Asia and Europe comprise so much... it makes your sentence too general.

In addition to the fact that UC Irvine is closet to my parents, another advantage is that many of my family members reside nearby and will be a great support system for me.

I think you should divide up that first paragraph:
I am interested in international business culture, and I am always ready to see the global business in a different perspective. (add some sentences that establish the main idea that you want the reader to remember about your essay, and then end the paragraph.

(start a new paragraph)
I am driven and motivated to try...----> this makes a good topic sentence for the paragraph.

This is just the idea that came to mind for me! You may think of something better!
berry - / 2  
Feb 1, 2011   #7
Admission into my first choice college - how to write a college appeal letter?

Need help in writing a college appeal letter...
berry - / 2  
Feb 1, 2011   #9
Admission into my first choice college. My act score was low, but my over all GPA is 3.5
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 8, 2011   #10
If you google that question, you'll find good explanations on Answers.com and lots of other websites. If you search essayforum for the word appeal, you will find good examples and advice.

You should have a theme, some good concept that you are using to help explain your argument. That makes it memorable.

Let's see what you write! We can help you enhance it by letting you know how it seems to us from our objective points of view.


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