Asia and Europe
-two of my favorite destinations .
I would get rid of this part, because Asia and Europe comprise so much... it makes your sentence too general.
In addition to the fact that UC Irvine is closet to my parents, another advantage is that many of my family members reside nearby and will be a great support system for me.
I think you should divide up that first paragraph:
I am interested in international business culture, and I am always ready to see the global business in a different perspective. (add some sentences that establish the main idea that you want the reader to remember about your essay, and then end the paragraph.
(start a new paragraph)
I am driven and motivated to try...----> this makes a good topic sentence for the paragraph.
This is just the idea that came to mind for me! You may think of something better!