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"the start of something new, exhilarating, and not experienced" - Why U Chicago essay


Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 2, 2011   #1
How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community, and future? Please address with some specificity your own wishes and how they relate to Chicago.

'In preparation for the upcoming cold and flu season, Jesus asks you to use hand sanitizer to help prevent the spread of germs. Thank you.' This sign, posted outside of the 57th Street Seminary bookstore was one of many memories surrounding my visit to the University of Chicago.

After two days of driving and three attempts at finding a hotel, I arrived on campus. I was immediately struck by the beauty of the buildings and the hospitality of the student body. On the way to the information session alone, I was approached by multiple students willing to risk being late for class to help direct me towards the admissions building. I was engaged by the tour guide's enthusiasm as he led us through the black box and spoke highly of his newly changed majors. From the Hogwarts like buildings to the core curriculum, I knew that this was the school for me. UChicago appealed to me both academically and creatively. I wanted to be the new quirky addition to the student body, but I had nearly two years until college. I wanted to jump in head first and use my autonomy to take advantage of the unique classes offered in the Division of the Social Science and explore my love for knowledge with over forty nine areas of study to choose from. I also wanted to benefit from Chicago's small class sizes and the community that the house system creates. I wanted the personal learning experience the university is known for, with the flexibility the quarter system provides. I wanted to get involved in one of dozens of renowned research projects, club activities, and internships. I wanted UChicago.

I have already had memorable moments at the University of Chicago. University police gave me my first and hopefully only ride in a cop car back to my car across campus. I toured the Regenstein Library and spoke to many students about their classes and the houses they lived in. I got to experience eating in the South Campus dining hall and I discovered how it feels to have the city of Chicago right at my fingertips. No matter where my U Chicago journey takes me, I will be constantly learning both inside and outside of the classroom. Whether I spend the day studying for a huge psychology test, or rummaging the campus for Scav hunt, four years at the University of Chicago will help shape me into a successful adult. I look forward to rushing to finish my homework, so I can make it to Thursday night soccer and standing in line every Wednesday for a dollar milkshake. I look forward to a late night snack from TANSTAAFL, house Olympics and elections, writing an interesting story for the University of Chicago Press, and freshman orientation.

For me, the University Chicago is the start of something new, something exhilarating, something that cannot be experienced elsewhere. That cold February day of junior year, with snow up to my knees, I fell in love with everything UChicago had to offer. Now when someone asks me why I want to go to the University of Chicago I say, "why not"? Crescat scientia; vita excolatu: let knowledge grow from more to more; and so be human life enriched.
LUDACRISS007 3 / 4  
Jan 2, 2011   #2
love it!!
great read.
i couldn't stop reading.
i'm applying to UChicago myself so good luck :D
LUDACRISS007 3 / 4  
Jan 3, 2011   #3
i think it'd be fine.
but if i were you i would combine the 1st and 2nd paragraphs, and the 3rd and 4th paragraphs just to make it look like 2 paragraphs.it just shows the admissions council that you can follow instructions better.but thats just me.good luck :D
markelruso 1 / 2  
Jan 3, 2011   #4
You definately sound like an insider. Anyway, I'd recommend to talk about something more specific you like about this school (something from the academics). You mentioned you wanted to involve in a research project, club or internships: elaborate more on that.

Good essay in general. Good luck.
CrimeanGurl 1 / 17  
Jan 3, 2011   #5
"I wanted the personal learning experience the university is known for, with the flexibility the quarter system provides." This sentence sounds kind of strange to me: Do you want "personal learning experience" and "the flexibility" or does "personal learning" take place due to "the flexibility"?

"Whether I spend the day studying for a huge psychology test or rummaging the campus for Scav hunt, four years at UC would help shape me into a successful adult." I believe the second part should have "will" instead of "would" since it is the first conditional.

Overall, awesome essay: It is very detailed and definitely shows your knowledge about the University and enthusiasm to attend it. Well Done!

Can you please take a sec to look at mine?
saroth 11 / 47  
Jan 3, 2011   #6
I Immediately was struck instead of Immediately I was struck

various subjects --> i gues you're trying to say you love knowledge, so just say knowledge

I wanted also change to I also wanted

for the last few sentences in the second paragraph and at other parts, you start every sentence
with "I wanted". mix up your sentence structures a bit

U Chicago --> say University of Chicageo, its more formal

Already, I have had memorable --> I have already had

Great overall essay, good message, shows a lot of intrest, and good conclusion. Are you Courtney Br's sister? I edited one of her essays too I think. Thanks a lot for your edit on my essay, and could you maybe read me cornell or other Illinois essay (especially the illinois one, since i'm 102 words over the limit) Thanks and good luck.
amberisdead 9 / 28  
Jan 3, 2011   #7
I love ur introduction! Totally Chicago;)
I think your essay is quite perfect, your passion for the school is very evident.
One point to note: isn't it suppose to be one paragraph or two? yours seems a little long?
I disagree on what ^ markelruso has said to elaborate on the college details. I think yours is just nicely done, anything more will seem like mere name-dropping.
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 3, 2011   #8
Haha you are the first person to realize we are related; we are twins actually. Thanks for editing my essay and I will take another look at your Illinois essay.
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 3, 2011   #9
Please edit I will edit your essay in return
saroth 11 / 47  
Jan 3, 2011   #10
Haha, I'm glad i was the first person to notice a relationship, and its cool how you two are twins.

University police gave me my first, and hopefully onlylast, ride in a cop car back to my car

get rid of the hypen

Again great essay and I think you're ready to turn it in. And yeah, if you could look at my essays (especially my illinois one) that would help a lot since they're due today. Good Luck!
ShadoPoig 11 / 36  
Jan 3, 2011   #11
Wow, this is excellent! And probably the kind of voice UChicago was hoping to hear.
I would just say, a tiny nitpick, that you should put a comma before the "why not". Maybe for added effect, you could make it a question and a quote, like: I ask, "why not?"

Again, great work! Would you mind helping me out with my Why UChic essay?
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Jan 3, 2011   #12
Last time editing before I submit please proof read. Thanks.
OP Anonymoussenior 17 / 133  
Feb 1, 2011   #13
I submitted a month ago. This thread is closed.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 9, 2011   #14
Hi Kelsey, I just wanted to mention two things, in case you revisit this thread -- even though the deadline has passed and you have probably already impressed the AO reader.

First, this has great energy and enthusiasm, which is one of the best accomplishments in a piece of writing.

Second, it needs to be thematically tightened up a little. For example, draw some significance from that opening quote... what does it mean within the context of the essay. The essay's sentences can be about many things at once. So... the whole thing can be about this quote, but it also will be about your plans at the same time. What I'm saying is that when you write, try to make it so there are no loose ends. Just like in a film you watch, if the protagonist runs into a creepy little salesman near the beginning of the film, you can be sure that character will come back to play some kind of important role in the story. Same thing here: make the reference to the sign signify something.

Also:
... say, "Why not?"


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