The idea of transferring to an out-of-state university further exhilarates my educational journey and when I narrow it down to transfer to George Washington University, I am galvanized by the potential college experience that will thrive in every aspect.
I like if you break this sentence up. I feel it's a little bit lengthy and hence disturb your flow.
I am thrilled to be surrounded by peers whom the majority come from across the nation which will allow me to interact with students from different backgrounds and network with people around the globe.
I am thrilled to be surrounded by peers coming form across the nation. That will allow me to enhance my networking opportunities while broadening my perspectives.This also contributes to the great deal of students whom live in college housing that results in a strong college life and social experience which I eagerly seek
I think your idea does not flow properly.... Is it that you want to tell,
This would certainly create a great college with a rich social exposure that I am eagerly looking forward to.