I dont know if this is the best way write personal statement but can anyone comment please
I have always dreamt of becoming a Chartered Accountant since my childhood even though people around me always say that I will be a very good lawyer if I study and read law because of my spoken English and well presentation in argument. Considering what there have said, I still have that gut feeling inside of me that accounting is for me even though what they say is true but sometimes what you are good at is not what's best for you. I worked very hard to prove that this is the best decision for me.
I started Association of Accounting Technician (AAT), at first it was hard to find its tactics and logics but having spent years in high school doing GCSE where I excelled in all of my subjects including Mathematics my best subject, English and Science due to dedication, I know that I will be able to get through this if I put my heart into it. After series of practise and learning the concept of each topic I then started to build up confident in God and myself.
Having excelled in my first and second exams, I was very proud of myself of what I have achieved. I started believing that I have now got a grip of it, waiting for the results of my final exams to proceed to year 2 at the university which I know have passed without any doubt. With my achievement, I can proudly say that I am prepared and ready for university. Accounting is now part of me because I have developed an interest in it. Furthering my accounting studies at university will make me to be able to achieve my aims and goals in life.
I have chosen to study Accounting and Finance at the university because they both go together for me and based on my research, I realised that finance part in accounting is very important as it help to manage credit and investment. It is also very stimulating because the world of finance and investment banking attracts many top graduates and the aspect of accounting and finance associated with very high salaries which is rewarding, it has varieties of International accounting firms offering a bewildering array of career opportunities to suit all interests including traditional auditing and assurance work, management consulting, corporate finance, IT consulting, tax planning. The same is true for the large investment banks and financial institutions and leadership. After gaining their professional qualifications, many accountants move into senior management positions in large firms.
Outside of studying, there are so many things I enjoy doing and one of them is debating. I do this as an enrichment in my college were we all gather together to talk and debate about what is going on in our society. I also like going to the gym in other to get fit.
College is fun and challenging and I have always enjoyed every bit of it but I believe university is the next level for me. College has really changed me as an individual. It gave me an insight of what university will be like and has introduced me to a wider range of people. I have met a lot of people and I have learnt to listen and take other peoples opinion. This has made me a highly enthusiastic and self-motivated individual with logical approach and ingenuity to tackle challenging situations. I can proudly say that I have an excellent interpersonal skill to communicate effectively with other people. I hope this is sufficient enough to offer me a place at your university and I look forward to taking the advantage off all the opportunity university life has to offer.
In the first sentence, I think "since my childhood" is redundant because you say: "I have always dreamt of becoming a Chartered Accountant".
In the third paragraph, the sentence: "I was very proud of myself of what I have achieved" needs to be revised. You could say "I was very proud of myself" or "I was very proud of what I have achieved. Also, "I was very proud of myself and of what I have achieved".
I don't get the relation of fifth paragraph with everything else in the essay. "Outside of studying, there are so many things I enjoy doing and one of them is debating. I do this as an enrichment in my college were we all gather together to talk and debate about what is going on in our society. I also like going to the gym in other to get fit"
You should revise that too.
The last sentence in the first paragraph is great, very powerful!
You should stick to the subject of accounting in the first paragraph. What I thought of as I was reading this essay was that, where you mention that you're involved with the college debating team, that would be a great place to tell about how people who know you say you should become a lawyer. If you add it there, as a funny anecdote, it would not only brighten up the essay, but it might make you more of a real person to those reading it.
Your last paragraph is great, but you do need to mention accounting in there, reflecting back on your opening statement, thus tying it all together.
I have always dreampt of becoming a...
After a lot of practice and learning the concept of each topic I then started to build up confidence in God and myself.
...I was very proud of myself for what I had achieved.
I also like going to the gym in order to get fit.
Thank you so much i really appreciate your comments...
