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Personal Statement For UM - becoming a nurse is the right career choice for me.


Rence 2 / 2  
Sep 10, 2010   #1
"A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown." -Denis Waitley

If someone would have told me that one day I would become a nurse, I would have thought they were insane. I could not stand the sight of blood it was despicable and gruesome. Unfortunately, I was proven wrong a situation had occurred when my mother had fallen and scrape half her skin off her arm. There was blood every where on the floor, and on her shirt, I desperately wanted to help my mother but the sight of the blood mad my skin crawl. However, in a blink of an eye I had every thing in my hand to help my mother, the medicine and the bandages. She was bleeding heavily and rapidly, I started to clean the wound then started to wrap the bandages around her arm. That was the day my creative dream of future to become a nurse practitioner began and that I wanted to help people who are in need. Like in the quote you need to get out your comfortable zone to become familiar with the unknown because if you don't you will not be able to experience the diversity that the world has to offer or even conquer your fear.

As a person of a vibrant background, and a personality I have much to offer as a student of education and towards the community. I identify myself as my name, who has distinctive person, my characteristics is an individual are that I am candid, blunt, silly, and outrageous person at times. The main reason that I would like to in devour into become Nurse Practitioner is that I am fond of it, I enjoy working with people especially in the medical field when new things are discover every day. In the principally of studying at either Florida International University or University of Miami they have the best nursing programs. Both university ranks have the highest percent of nurse who passed the board and are well experience in their field. After I obtain my degree, I intend to go straight in my field to acquire some experience and later want to start my own clinic. What I can bring to my academic studies is I can instantly to it, I isolate myself and just play some music to get me center. Furthermore, I have done some relevant experience, research, and educational experience to know what I want today. To truly be honest the only experience I've had was volunteering at a shelter home and nursing home, took some Advanced Placement classes, and done my research to know the requirements that are needed. Everyone has a weakness, but my weakness I try not to let it affect me so much when it comes to my grades. I try my best when it comes to math, but I'm not the smartest one I deeply lack in that subject. Although I do my best to receive good grades and have a tutor at all times. I am certain becoming a nurse is the right career choice for me and studying at this university is the best decision for achieving my goals in life.

EdCho 4 / 9  
Sep 11, 2010   #2
wow
your essay brings emotions(full of bloods..)

however, i see some grammar mistakes such as missing commas, run-on sentences, and sentence fragments

if you revise it few more times, it will be way better than now!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Sep 12, 2010   #3
Ha ha, I like your writing style, but you have to get the run on sentence under conctrol:
I could not stand the sight of blood it was despicable and gruesome. --- You can't just write 2 sentences at once like this! :-)

I could not stand the sight of blood. It was despicable and gruesome.

That is better. BUT despicable is not a good word, because it is supposed to be about a person... a despised person.

... an eye I had everything in my hand to help my mother, the medicine and the bandages.

Nice!! One more thing:

I identify myself as my name, who has a distinctive, motivated person; my characteristics include candor, bluntness, occasional silliness, and outrageous ideas.


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