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Personal Statement for biomedicine: Stepped into a lab with my broken toe


ckrrtje 1 / 2  
Aug 5, 2013   #1
Well, I wrote this last night. Please comment! Have to submit my application in less than month. Thank you!

By the time I was fourteen, I have already decided that I want a career in a medical and science related field. Biology and chemistry have always been my strongest subjects; they always keep me interested and wanting to find out more. Because of my interest in these sciences, I have taken up H3 Pharmaceutical Chemistry as one of my A level subjects and I really do enjoy the subject. I want to become a dentist one day but I also like doing laboratory work. It was the moment when I first stepped into a university's laboratory with my fractured toe and did some hands-on in preparing a prescription at a pharmacy camp, I was finally convinced that a medical researcher is a possible career prospect for me.

I choose University of Melbourne because I like the flexibility of the course structure and the breadth of subjects the university has to offer. I would like to study dentistry but I feel that just studying an undergraduate dentistry course will not allow me to explore my interest as a biomedical researcher. University of Melbourne is an ideal choice for me as it is a tailor fit to my personal interests. Ultimately, I do hope to be able to enrol in their post-graduate entry Doctor of Dental Surgery course after graduating from a course in biomedicine.

While exploring other options in the healthcare sector during my holidays, I have shadowed an occupational therapist, a respiratory therapist and a dentist at the local hospital doing their daily routines in wards and clinics. I have gained invaluable experience and insights into the medical field. Having the chance to observe the doctor-patient interaction and to help out these professionals in their job is exciting and a wonderful experience that does not come by easily, but my biggest takeaway from these experiences would be learning that the behind-the-scenes lab technicians and scientists do play an important role too and that for every patient, different professionals have to work together as a team. Someday, I would like to be part of that team and contribute in one way or another to improving healthcare for all.

In school, I was elected as the Chairperson of the Modern Dance group. I find this exciting and more than occasionally challenging as I have never taken on such a huge leadership role before. Being the chairperson has given me experience in organising others, as well as teaching them. Watching my dancers practise and progress is thrilling, especially in the case of when the dancers do not have a strong background in dancing initially and by the time of the dance competition, all our dancers have improved tremendously and are have become more motivated. Of that, I feel immensely satisfied. The leadership, communication and soft skills that I have gained will benefit me greatly in the near future.

Beyond my academics, I do take ballet classes regularly and read a lot of e-books on my phone. I have over 3000 e-books on my phone and the collection will continue to increase. My love for fiction started when I first learnt to read e-books on my phone and ever since then, I could not put my phone down and am always reading late into the night. I especially like the dystopian and science fiction genre where we often get pulled into a fictional world of advanced science and technology - it was a dystopian novel that got me hooked. I also like watching police-procedural dramas and sit-coms, hanging out with friends and watching movies. I have an aunt who resides in Melbourne and I only visited her once for two weeks. I feel that my time in Australia was too short and hopefully if I do accepted by the University of Melbourne, I will have the chance to spend more time with my cousins and do some exploring of the city on my own.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 5, 2013   #2
By the time I was fourteen, I have already decided that I want a career in a medical and science related field.

.... Tell them how this desire grew to convince them that you have a real passion for the field.

University of Melbourne is an ideal choice for me as it is a tailor fit to my personal interests.

... this is good, but tell them how it can be a tailor fit to your personal interests. In other words, talk about a few of its features. Then they would know that you have taken a strong interest in their uni.
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Aug 5, 2013   #3
Hello,

So I took a look at the biomedicine program at the University of Melbourne and you are correct it does have a vast amount of programs you can chose from. However, if you really want to become a dentist - a dentist that is also involved in research- wouldn't the best option be to complete the dentistry program now, while adding a research component to your program and maybe a few courses from the biomedicine department? I say this because this will more than likely be the major question the admissions committee will have about your application. There is no need to take on a full 4 year degree when elements of that same degree (research) can easily be mixed into the degree that you really want(dentistry). In any event, you do not make a strong case for either program. Pick one and really flush it out here. Give strong examples as to why this is the path you NEED to take at this stage in your academic life.

Hope this helps
OP ckrrtje 1 / 2  
Aug 6, 2013   #4
dumi
thanks! I will work on it!
OP ckrrtje 1 / 2  
Aug 6, 2013   #5
Hi I appreciate your comments and I get what you are trying to say but the university does not provide a dentistry course for students just graduating out of high school like me... :( Their dentistry course is by a pathway where you have to first graduate from their approved undergraduate courses like biomedicine in order to apply to dentistry. So I thought it would be better to show that I was interested in doing both courses. I guess I will have to tweak my essay a little more towards biomedicine. :) Thank you.
sksbl88 - / 29 6  
Aug 15, 2013   #6
Research the program you're really interested in and general information about the field. Write about it more. It's also ok to be open a little with medicine in a particular field in an essay. You can even list you want to do 2 things..My sister did that actually *double major in 6 years*. Just make sure your essay is clear, concise and organized.


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