Prompt 2 of the Personal Statement "Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."
My biggest aspiration is to view the world by visiting different places. There is nothing more interesting to me than exploring and discovering new things that I did not think possible.
Most of my life people have told me that what I aspire is impossible and that I cannot do things simply because I am a women or simply of because of who I am. Even until this day people have tried to put me down by pointing out how things are impossible and that the decisions I have made will only lead me to failure. I beg to differ, because one can learn from their mistakes and also because I think that I old enough to decide whether have made the right choices to the path of my own success.
People tend to point out that I am bound to fail because of where I come from, and that refers to my community which is mostly Hispanic. The graduation rate at Huntington Park High School is very low compared to the other schools in LAUSD. There have been explanations to reason behind this, and they all concur with the same idea, that is because we are mostly Mexican and nothing much can be expected other that low wage work. I refuse to accept this, because everyone has the same ability to succeed.
Not so long ago I was called by my mom to come and help her out in her work. I decide since I was not doing much in my break to go help her, and I was finally able to feel what it was to work as an immigrant worker with a low salary, but that did not matter because I was finally able to help my mom with something, and it did not bug me until a few days ago. Once more they needed more people and he told my mom to bring me, she denied so he asked why. Her response was obvious; it was because I was in school but her boss was nonchalant about it and did not care about whether I was receiving an education, he would have rather have me working at his disposition.
Growing up around these circumstances where people constantly tell you, you cannot succeed has urged me to become stronger and ignore all that. No one can tell me what I can and cannot do and there is a beauty to this because here is where I decide to listen to them and show them what I think. I think I can prove then and do what I have dreamed, become someone successful who others can look up.
Most of my life people have told me that what I aspire is impossible and that I cannot do things simply because I am a women or simply of because of who I am.
This is my suggestion;I have been told many times by many people that what I aspire is impossible. They said so simply because I am a woman and because of my personality type.Even until this day people have tried to put me down by pointing out how things are impossible and that the decisions I have made will only lead me to failure.
I think you better do away with this sentence. It sounds a repetition of the earlier one. Quickly come to your next point;People tend to point out that I am bound to fail because of where I come from, and that refers to my community which is mostly Hispanic.
It's important that you do not drag so much... I like if you have come to the above point in the first para itself.