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Personal Statement - the definition of an ambitious competitor


twchan 3 / 16  
Nov 20, 2009   #1
My most important trait is also the quality that defines an ambitious competitor. I would rather be a winner than a loser. I dream big, enjoying learning about things that interest me, and I love to win. By dreaming big, I act as if I am an Olympic gold medalist. I am aware of my surroundings; I know what it needs and take steps to making myself the type of person the world would need in the future. My dreams will always be obtained because of my enthusiasm to learn what it takes to obtain them as well as my love of winning. Though I do not have medical knowledge, yet, Biomedical/Biochemistry studies have always interested me and will study them more in college. I am willing to put all of my energy into gaining experience because I do not want people to judge me as a person based on my facial appearance. I have seen many people who like to judge and criticize others by their look. Yet, I do not think we truly know them unless we get to know their personalities. I remember it is just so painful to deal with acne. Thus, I want to attend a university that not only offers me an opportunity to study, but also provides me the chances to pursue my real passion and enjoy my profession later in life. I believe I would be a great dermatologist with a splendid life - a life with a great college education, a guaranteed job, a stable salary, and an ability to help others. Not everyone understands me; yet, they do not have the same approach as I do. I never underestimate the power of my enthusiasm because it is the key to my success.

Maybe i wasn't specific enough... i didn't see my post...
so i might have posted this twice... idkkk

BUT comments and suggestions are all welcome!! :D
xxxiecong 2 / 5  
Nov 20, 2009   #2
you need put some other stuff in it to illustrate the topic. it is too vacuous
OP twchan 3 / 16  
Nov 20, 2009   #3
what do you mean???
xxxiecong 2 / 5  
Nov 20, 2009   #4
Though I do not have medical knowledge, yet, Biomedical/Biochemistry studies have always interested me and will study them more in college. if you can give a specific personal experience , it will be better
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 23, 2009   #5
I dream big, enjoying learning about things that interest me (list some fascinating subjects that pertain to your chosen course of study)... , and I love to win. (you already said this).

You can switch to "active voice":
I will always obtain actualize my dreams because of my enthusiasm to learn what it takes to obtain them as well as my love of winning.

Don't waste space with statements of the obvious:
Thus, I want to attend a university that not only offers me an opportunity to study, but also provides me the chances to pursue my real passion and enjoy my profession later in life.

Tsz, take this opportunity to show them how much you already know about dermatology. You can present yourself as someone who is so enthusiastic that you already read and write about dermatology, and you should be finding out about the most recent advancements in the field. Read some recent articles about the profession of dermatology, and discuss your intentions about contributing to the field. It is time to be a professional -- an expert in your field.

:-)


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