Essay personal statement for dental school - the ability to help people in need

Here is my personal statement for dental school. I will appreciate your critics and grammar corrections!!!!

Personal statement
Being at final grade of high school I've got a job at one of our local dental office helping doing small thing around the office. I never realize how many people in need of dental care. I had a chance to see how important medicine to people in pain. A tooth ache one of the relentless and unbearable one that required immediate attention. I was fascinated how dr. Oleshko by using his professionalism and strong medical knowledge was helping those people. That is why I have chosen Dentistry and felt no remorse for choosing that amazing field.

During my dental school education I was inspired by the dr. Kucherenko he is not only a fabulous doctor and teacher but also a very good person. I remember first time I met him in 2006 it was my 3rd year in dental school and he was performing a front teeth restoration. Having got acquainted with her, I was allowed to shadow her doing her job. Mostly I was interested in restorative procedures, such as bone grafts and implants. He noticed my passion and let me assist him with some restorative procedures he did.

I volunteered for annual dental check up at the schools and kindergartens. This gave a good experience in working with kids of different ages and understanding how to interact with highly anxious kids to make their visit less stressful. Being also a residential advisor for my dormitory I still found a time to pursue swimming and tennis. All this activities and hobbies expanded my social circle, allowed me to develop my leadership skills, and contributed to being very sociable.

In 2011 I successfully completed curriculum for dental students. . University education gave me a different outlook on patient care, dentistry, and life in general, for which I am grateful to my professors and classmates.

I'm young but mature and responsible person. My ultimate goal now is to equip myself with latest skills, techniques and ideas and find the way to use them in USA. Looking for the future I would love to become a dentist in USA and have my own practice. The ability to help people in need is the most appealing aspect and would provide me with tremendous job satisfaction.

I think you have done well with your paper. There is one thing that you could omit-- "I'm young but mature and responsible person." You are stating the obvious here, because through your self-description, you have proven these things. You write in a mature manner, and your activities and jobs shine a good light on your personality. The main things that the college wants to hear from you is that you are a person with a plan. You have a passion or area of interest that you feel strongly about, you want to excel in that field. Lay out your short term and long term goals, and state how college will help you develop skills and smarts to achieve those goals. Work on your grammar. If you still want grammar help, leave a comment, and I can try to edit some more of this for you. :)