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Personal statement-"My failure"


sfrancis 1 / 1  
Jan 15, 2010   #1
I was emotionally devastated after receiving the news that I was not considered as one of the twenty individuals for an outstanding scholarship program. My dreams of fulfilling my parents hopes, were dashed to pieces. However, in my despair, I remembered a quotation by Norman Anderson that stated "If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up"

How could I appear defeated in the eyes of my student body that looked to me as a source of support and motivation within the school? This valuable realization encouraged me to continue fortifying my efforts in making my school community better. I started to assist my Student Government teacher with leadership class, to counsel students who suffered academically and emotionally. I felt if there were other students experiencing what I once felt, it would be in my best interest to ensure they didn't develop low self esteem and submit to depression over misfortunes. I conducted workshops and games designed to help these students build better leadership and communication skills. I incorporated my perceived failure into one of the workshops, where we discussed overcoming adversities. By sharing my experience of defeat, I attempted to show these students that no one is perfect and we all experience misfortune. I soon realized the warm feeling I got when interacting with these students as I began to feel like a role model, offering guidance and support. It was my mission to promote the idea that failures were inevitable and the true measure of one's character comes from what they actually do with these failures.

Fortunately, my fall became a stepping-stone rather than a setback, as it became a chance to embrace new experiences. Disappointments does not always have to be viewed in a negative light, but can be used as a form of motivation and inspiration, just as I attempted to use mine. The feeling of being a role model is a rare and precious gift not to be taken for granted. I consider it a privilege and responsibility - a mandate that can guide my life and promise a brighter future.

Having almost completed my term in student government, I can now turn back and look at the path I chose. Instead of walking around with a dark cloud casted over my head, I had decided to transform this cloud it into a ray of sunlight. There is one thing that I have definitely acquired over this experience, something more than a scholar title, something more than hours of professional leadership trainings, something even more than the honor and privilege to have meetings with Chancellor Joel Klein .It was the sense of maturity and sensibleness that I gained was priceless. My misconceived failure has transformed the way I see this world and how I want others to see it as well. Through leadership class and my tenure of Student Representative, my transition into the adult world was smother. I now have stronger courage and inspiration to tackle bigger hurdles ahead in my life while being able to accept disappointments and misfortunes. Having realizing this, my initial disillusionment has been replaced by more sophisticated and profound insights.
Yoghurtlovely 1 / 8  
Jan 16, 2010   #2
My dreams of fulfilling my parents hopes
Your parents' dreams? Isn't it better to state that it's your own dream?

This is a good essay :) I like how you described what happened after you were rejected the scholarship. However, you could develope the first paragraph. As a reader, I'd like to hear more about how much that scholarship meant to you (and not your parents). Was it a big dream to get it? etc. The quote in the end of the first paragraph was great.
pekingduck 2 / 6  
Jan 16, 2010   #3
My dreams of fulfilling my parents hopes, were dashed to pieces.
... Norman Anderson that stated, "If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up."
I started to assist my Student Government teacher with leadership class, and began to counsel students who suffered academically and emotionally.
I conducted workshops and games designed to help thesethose students build better leadership and communication skills. I incorporated my perceived failure into one of the workshops,where we discussed overcoming adversities.

Disappointmentsdoesdo not always have to be viewed in a negative light, but can be used as a form of motivation and inspiration, just as I attempted to use mine.

Instead of walking around with a dark cloud casted over my head, I hadhave decided to transform this cloud it into a ray of sunlight. It was the sense ofThe maturity and sensibleness that I gained was priceless.

... my transition into the adult world was smothersmoother .

This is a good essay :) I love how you took your loss and turned it into a learning experience.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jan 20, 2010   #4
My dreams of fulfilling my parents' hopes, were dashed to pieces.

Instead of walking around with a dark cloud casted over my...

I conducted workshops and games

When you conducted these, was it after you received the news mentioned in the first paragraph? I'm confused about exactly what you are saying. Did you help these students after you go that bad news? and what does it really have to do with the bad news?

I think a stronger connection needs to be made between the disappointing news and the experiences you describe. Are you saying that you spent the past few years in a different place than you would have if you had received the scholarship? It would be nice to add a sentence to help the reader understand the circumstances a little better. :-)

:-)


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