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Personal Statement/ GKS Undergraduate Scholarship/ Communication and Media Major

Essie Kim 1 / -  
Sep 16, 2021   #1
I really appreciate your feedback and opinion on my personal statement.

Personal Statement

I realized that the past twenty one years I have been passing through perfectly depict the outstanding personal statement I am writing now. I was inspired to learn Korean language and culture ever since I was introduced to the experience of studying in South Korea by my senior from high school who studied digital media major in Seoul. Then, I started learning Hangul in 2016 from when my dream to study in Korea was born. I could say that all the things I have been striving to achieve all along was dedicated to that sole dream. It would be a huge reward for me to acquire high standard education in a welcoming environment for international students as it has been my long held dream throughout these times.

If my life could be a documentary, the beginning is at the age when I could retrieve my memories. My mother used to be a tailor. Later, she ran a small garment factory while taking care of me and my brother on her own as my father lived apart with us because of his job. As a child, I have had the best school experiences studying at the same school for ten years from first grade to tenth grade. With the great support of my teachers, I was always among the top students in the class. I ranked second within my class two years consecutively when I was in eighth grade and ninth grade. I even did not go to big-budgeted classes outside school like my friends as I wanted to lessen the burden on my parents. However, I always managed to catch up with the others in the class. With all of my effort, I passed the matriculation exam with all distinctions, a GPA 3.89 out of 5.

Schooling alone definitely did not make me a better person. During my school years, I was allowed to explore different things. I have learnt how to play flute, joined traditional dance and handicraft club, essay and impromptu competitions. I won a writing competition about Myanmar language and culture when I was in sixth grade. This probably encouraged me to develop a habit of journaling that let me grow creative thoughts and imagination. Thanks to my mother, I have cultivated the habit of reading since I was a child. I was brought into different story books, journals and magazines where I could explore more about the things that I was not taught in my school lessons. As I grow older, my range of interest has been wider to novels and documentary films. "Art and media can become a platform for the voiceless". This is what I have heard from a documentary film about poverty. I felt really fascinated about the idea of helping the lives in difficult situations through one's career. Being a citizen of a third world country, I want to be part of the change and it really drives an inspiration for me to help out with people in those situations as well as to share the world about our society, history and culture through the power of media.

I am indeed grateful to my parents for raising me not only as a student who is successful in academics but also as a person who has a considerate mind for others. Aside from my own lessons, I spent my time helping my young cousins and children of the workers from my mother's factory in their studies and shared as much knowledge as I knew. In the summer of 2018, I participated in the 'Light for Children' program where I spent two-month time at 'The Bethel Children Home' as a volunteer teacher. The pleasure and experience gained from assisting the orphanage children by teaching and spending fun time together with them is irreplaceable. Another experience worth mentioning is the time when I organized a fund with my friends to donate meals for 100 people at 500 bedded Yangon Specialty hospital. I intended this for the patients' families who find difficulties to afford meals outside the hospital. The tasks were divided accordingly to collect funds, contact the authority from the hospital and cater the food to the patients on the donation day. I am really fond of performing these kinds of volunteer work as I can at least be a grain of sand for my community as well as get a chance to improve interpersonal skills. By participating in social activities, I come to know that I have a keen interest in communicating with people, sharing stories and experiences. Therefore, after finishing high school, I intended to follow a career where my passion lies.

Living hard does not surely mean you will achieve what you want. There is no media or communication major among public universities in my country. I was neither in the situation to ask my parents to send me to private universities nor to study abroad as my mother was getting treatment for Rheumatoid Arthritis disease and they already cost a lot for hospital expenses. Nevertheless, I joined free yet effective online courses which are related to communication media such as media literacy, screenwriting and online communication offered by international universities. Luckily, I gained an opportunity to work as an HR intern at XX Group which is one of the largest corporations in our country. It was such a valuable experience as I got to know about work culture and human relations, and at the same time improved organizational skills and ability to communicate with different people throughout the internship program. In addition, one more wish to learn content writing was fulfilled when I was selected as one of the content writer trainees out of 300 applicants across the country. During that two-month online program, I applied my critical thinking skills to develop creative contents by doing research on specific topics. I can say that I made the most out of myself during those past years. All I wish is to get a chance to study my desired major and make my dream come true. Well, there are times in life when fortune does not work.

I have been running through this whole 20 years of my life and suddenly, at some point, it stopped. I lost my mother last year in March 2020. I have confidently overcome the difficulties in my life with my own intelligence and with the support of my parents but it hurts me so bad when it comes to losing my mother. She has always been a great support for me in every aspect of my life. Anyway, I had to try to get better as my mother always wanted me to be a strong and independent woman. Since I was on hiatus from my education at that time, I decided to pick up a new hobby or join internship and volunteer programs. Good out of bad is I passed an interview for a marketing intern position at a local cleaning service company which helps in providing jobs for female workers. To take full advantage of what I was given, I have immersed myself in my tasks which are mainly to communicate with local and foreign clients for day-to-day operations and to assist in creating marketing contents. It is such a huge advantage for me as I felt mentally stronger and more mature than my peers in most of the aspects after experiencing all those incidents which is totally different from my childhood. After all, I will keep finding every possible way to my goal to get a chance to study my dream major by which I could carry out well-being for society with my profession.

Where there is a will, there is a way. It is the time for me to grab the opportunity I was given. I believe that GKS scholarship will definitely be a life-changing opportunity for me. I will be able to continue studying under a quality education system thereby raising the quality of my life. It is not only me who will benefit from this scholarship but my community which is in desperate need of skillful individuals for development. Through this scholarship program, I am also confident that I will become an excellent graduate who can contribute in improving bilateral relations between South Korea and Myanmar while serving as an expert in my field of study. I have spent almost one third of my lifetime already. One thing for sure is that I want to lead the rest of my life doing good deeds for society. I know that my mother was always proud of me, but I still have to prove that I made it.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,728 4511  
Sep 17, 2021   #2
I realized that the past twenty one years I have been passing through

The writer maybe 21 years old at present but he has not been in realization of his dreams for the same amount of time. Babyhood, childhood, and adolescence are not counted here. Avoid exaggerations by avoiding unrealistic age references.

since I was introduced to the experience of studying in South Korea by my senior from high schoo

This portion of reality is exactly why the fantastic 21 year age claim will disqualify this application.

when my dream to study in Korea was born

Based on what academic and career motivation?

the beginning is at the age when I could retrieve my memories

Stop the exaggerations! The reviewers hate over dramatized essays.This is not a Korea novela. Neither is it an oration.

"Art and media can become a platform for the voiceless"

How have you embodied this in your extra and academic activities? Justify the course of development and influence of this quote on your character.

I have been running through this whole 20 years of my life and suddenly, at some point, it stopped.

Again with the exaggeration. Do not write as if you are trying to join a reality show. Be aware that this is an academic interview where these sorts of references do not have a positive effect on the application.

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