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Personal statement for a Joint Master regarding Eastern Europe, Russia, Eurasia


lancerlot99 1 / -  
Oct 27, 2022   #1
Hello, I would greatly appreciate some feedback on one of my motivation letters. This one is for the CEERES (Erasmus Mundus - ceeres-erasmusmundus.eu/) programme and has a limit of 1200 words. I tried to be as original as possible and to show why I would be a good candidate given my personal experience. Holt, I would really appreciate your input on this.

Personal statement - admission letter



Dear admission committee members,

My name is (lancerlot99), I am currently a student in the last year of my bachelor's at the Babes-Bolyai University from Cluj-Napoca, Romania, and I wish to be given a chance to continue my studies through the CEERES program.

Ten minutes from my childhood home, on my way to school, I could notice an old shop window, and behind the window, there were propagandistic pictures of Vladimir Putin, who was described as a defender of the people. After the Russian invasion of Ukraine in 2022, I saw the shop window empty for the first time. This story is like a metaphor for the fact that my entire life, I have been raised in a post-communist environment with a significant Russian influence, in a small city by the border with Ukraine. Even though by the time I was born more than ten years had passed since the Eastern bloc collapsed, I have always felt this event as having happened very recently, and I have always been interested in people's understanding of the communist past of the countries from the Soviet sphere of influence. This curiosity for perceptions, totalitarianism, and even democratisation and autocratisation, developed as I met different opinions about what happened then and the effects we feel today. I, myself, have undergone a massive change. My whole childhood, I have been brought to believe that the situation before the 1989 Romanian revolution was better than it is now. In that view, external forces managed to depose the communist dictator Ceaușescu to destabilise the wealthy country and control it from the shadows. This was a notoriously warped view of reality. However, I was too little to understand nuances and differentiate conspiracy from reality. As I went through high school, I developed the critical skills needed to challenge these views and adopt a more impartial view of the world around me. Paradoxically, these past beliefs shaped who I am today and made me critical of the information that we all unavoidably receive throughout life. By the time I got to University, I had learnt to appreciate democracy, and I became very intrigued by the notion of it. Nowadays, this is one of my research interests, among others such as misinformation, public discourse, security and the politics of the Eastern European region in general.

I think that studying in this master's program would greatly benefit me for multiple reasons. First, this program offers the flexibility to choose a regional focus. Two of the regions we can select are Eastern Europe or Russia, both representing my areas of interest. I think this programme can help me develop a broader perspective on post-Cold War transformations, regime transitions, populism and political discourse, as these regions suffered profound changes after the end of the Cold War. Second, this program would allow me to meet with professors such as David Smith, Huseyn Aliyev and Jacek Kołodziej, with outstanding expertise in domains I am interested about.

I am confident I would add value to this program and its reputation. First, I am a curious person, and I am very ambitious regarding my research interests. This is reflected by the fact that I have been a scholarship holder for the entirety of my bachelor studies with consistent, near-perfect grades. I like planning ahead of time, and regarding my master's dissertation, I have many ideas which I would tackle. However, I would see myself writing about how the Russian government has shaped their own understanding of democracy in order to legitimise the regime and its actions, beginning from 1991 until the 2014 annexation of Crimea. Naturally, for this thesis, I would require a more profound knowledge of Russian history, political discourse, and legitimisation processes among others. Second, I am aware that University is not only researching and courses but also getting involved in extracurricular activities that help put theory into practice and develop soft skills. In 2019, I participated in the management of a polling station during the Romanian local elections, learning more about the most important democratic practice. This year, I was fortunate to be a finalist and represent my country at an international knowledge contest regarding the Three Seas Initiative. There, I became more familiar with the organisation's objectives regarding state security and shared culture as an integration tool for post-communist countries. Similarly, I participated in another Three Seas forum that tackled subjects related to the regional, military and energy dimensions of Trimarium security, meeting with many political representatives from involved countries. Looking forward, I would be eager to take part in Lossi 36, as I have journalistic experience from writing articles for an NGO. I am also very open to participating in conferences and other opportunities the Consortium offers. Lastly, my primary objective is to become a professor; I am more than willing to delve into research and further knowledge within the political sciences field. I know that I have a lot to learn when it comes to research. However, I feel that I have the motivation to push through.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this letter, and I hope I will be given the chance to prove my worth and become a better researcher. Being a student of this Consortium would be an honour and a responsibility I would be eager to make the most of.

Regards,
(lancerlot99)
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4771  
Oct 28, 2022   #2
First of all, remove the political references in the essay. As a student, the focus should be less on explosive scenarios are indicated in this essay. It sounds more like the applicant is looking for trouble rather than trying to understand why the situation occurred and what diplomatic solutions could have been used to achieve peace. Leave the current happenings between The Ukraine and Russia out of it. It may be touched upon, but on a lesser scale and only as an additional platform for the continued development of your interest in this course.

What is sorely missing from this essay are the reasons why the double major will benefit the applciant since he lacks work experience and does not really have even a fundamental career path set before the moment. How will the joint masters help the applicant achieve his career goals? This can be discussed without turning into a motivational statement if done properly. Right now, this is not a competitive essay and does not contain any information that would interest the reviewer nor establish the candidate as a qualified one.


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