Outside the airport were throngs of mustachioed men yelling "Taxi? Taxi!" ; their fleet of old Paykans lining the curb and choking the parking lot.
The original sentence was a run-on. Use a semicolon to fix ( ; )
Two ofM y uncles had ushered my siblings and I out of the airport, through the crowd of taxi drivers, and into a small group of men and chador covered women.
We were passed around exchanging hugs and kisses as my father introduced everyone, a family that until this moment I had never met
"family" can't modify "everyone" I suggest something similar to this:
We exchanged hugs and kisses as my father introduced my family, one I had never met.Iran was a faraway land, and my family were just photographs.
Lunch breaks at work are filled with blog readings and op-eds from members of the foreign policy establishment.andM y conversations with people always lead to Middle Eastern politics and history. After much internal debate, I have decided to abandon an MFA and pursue my real passion. The road to a Master's in Middle Eastern Studies will be long with many prerequisites , but it is a path that I am wholeheartedly committed to.
Prerequisite already meant that the course is require; therefore, using require is redundant"
Good job. This essay really show your maturity. I love how clearly you stated your purpose; the essay is easy to follow. You have some minor issues with comma, but they shouldn't be a big deal.
Good luck :)
Have time? Look at mine to return the favor! Thanks