Current school asks for
Interest in and potential for contributing to the field of public health
Career objectives
Self-assessment of computer, quantitative analysis, and personal skills and general preparation for succeeding in a public health graduate program [For this part I did not directly answer the question, but rather answered it through the narrative, or so I hope]
I admit my grammar skills are not the best, and sometimes I eventually get too tired to notice the grammatical mistakes, so this will also be posted in the writing forum.
I also feel like I mention "Environmental Health" too much, so any suggestions on whether it is excessive and how to lower it would be great.
MANY THANKS! :)
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Walking into the hospital room, in a hospital not known for their best resources and services, you see your grandmother, who has watched over you nearly every single day since you were a toddler, appear older than she ever has. The series of events that led my grandmother into the hospital began with her existing condition of type 2 diabetes and a dermatologist who did a poor job on a simple biopsy. The overall experience for my grandmother after two visits to the hospital, each accompanied with severe anxiety attacks, left her with dementia that progresses still to this day. There is little I can do about the malpractice, and there is little to nothing I can do about my grandmother's dementia. I have had to come to terms with the fact that she will slowly lose her mind. No one should have to experience being forgotten from the woman who raised you, and no one should have to watch her lose her ability to form complete sentences and even forget how to eat with a fork and knife; and for the next five years or so, those were the only sentiments I knew how to express. At some point in my college years it became my driving force, directing me towards a purpose that would define my future career goals.
I never knew exactly how my grandmother's experience would ultimately affect me; however, by my junior year in college it became clear to me that one way I can prevent cases like my grandmother's from ever happening again would require eradicating or at least reducing the spread of diabetes. At the time my concentration was set for Biology, but I knew I wanted to write a topic that involved more than just the science of diabetes. At the end of my sophomore year I designed my new concentration, which consisted of both the Biology and Anthropology concentrations, and titled it as Medical Anthropology. During my last year of college I volunteered at the local community center that provided aid for Spanish immigrants, I helped teach English and health was the focus for their classes. It was clear many of the attendees did not quite comprehend the risk of diabetes, nor did they understand that as a disadvantaged group they were more likely to develop diabetes due to their lack of resources that contribute towards a healthy environment. While volunteering, I also worked on my thesis at the Honors College that focused on globalization and the spread of diabetes, which is where I found research and global population data indicating a strong correlation of gene-environment interactions and the increase of diabetes, particularly type 2 diabetes. I would like the opportunity to expand on current research and I feel that I could accomplish this by pursuing a concentration in Environmental Health with a Master in Public Health despite the Association of Schools of Public Health's (ASPH) heavy emphasis on communicable diseases and environmental toxins, for the reason that the best way to counteract chronic diseases like diabetes in today's world requires the public health sector to take the time to study the impact of environmental conditions outside of the traditional maladies that used to plague this world while technology advanced rapidly.
My research goals may be ambitious for the current curriculum designed by ASPH for environmental health, however specializing in it would accomplish my current objective to join the Navy as an Environmental Health specialist. After the Navy, I would like to work for the government, such as the Center of Disease Control, and continue my work and research in Environmental Health, particularly focusing on chronic diseases affected by gene-environment interactions. At the XYZ, I find that not only would I be able to achieve my current objective, but I will also be able to realize my future career goal. Among the faculty and staff at the College of Public Health, several professors and researchers would be more than capable of helping me expand my research goals while following the program's curriculum, including Dr. AA and Dr. BB with their experiences in international health and chronic diseases, Dr. CC and her research in metabolic-related diseases, and Dr. DD's knowledge of DNA and mutations. I am more than willing and ready to achieve my current and future goals, and I believe they can be achieved at the XYZ. I am determined to prevent cases like my grandmother's and to put an end to diabetes by contributing to current research by way of environmental health studies.
I never knew exactly how my grandmother's experience would ultimately affect me.
I think you should use Past Participle in here.
You`re applying to Environmental Health. Your future mentors and colleagues are not interested in your family dramas, but if, for example, a family member's mental illness influenced your decision to get a degree in clinical psychology, you can include that. So telling a relevant story is good but not too many.
No one should have to experience being forgotten from the woman who raised you, and no one should have to watch her lose her ability to form complete sentences and even forget how to eat with a fork and knife;
The sentence is great! How about mine? If you like it, you can use it.
No one should have to experience being forgotten from the woman who witnesses your childhood.
Sorry, my English is not good.
