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Statement of purpose (the Petroleum and Geosystems Engineering program)


adil77 1 / -  
Feb 28, 2009   #1
this is my first draft
Could you please correct my essay and do some suggestions

I wish to enroll in the Petroleum and Geosystems Engineering program at the University in order to pursue my interests in reservoir engineering. I attended Gubkin Russian State University from 2005 to 2008.

After high school graduation I had to decide which colleges I am going to apply and what major to pursue. At that time I was deciding between 3 majors: geology, ecology or international relationship. I was interested in all of them so it was hard to make a choice. A great impact on my decision did my father, who has graduated from Gubkin Russian State University of Oil and Gas with major in petroleum geology. This is one of the best schools in that field in formed USSR. I relied on my father, since I know what he has done in research in geology and what his work paid him. He is honored geologist of Kazakhstan Republic, independent expert GKZ, State Commission for Reserves of the Kazakhstan. He inculcated in me passion to geology.

I was accepted to that university and started to learn geology better. From the first days I found it interesting to be part of this earth science. I became keen in what our planet was and what it is formed of. In summer 2006 I had academic geological practice, upon which I researched some territory of East-European platform, and particularly Moscovian Syneclise.

It was a good experience to use my theoretical knowledge in practice.
What most appeals to me about petroleum engineering program is to know how form and extract one of the most important energetic resources of our planet.

Kazakhstan is a developing country with big resources of oil and gas and other mineral sources. I know that my country needs experienced and well-educated professionals in the field of petroleum engineering because oil is the most important of the few products exported from Kazakhstan to other countries, opening up the world economy for my still young nation. Having received a brilliant education in your university I intend to contribute in shaping the economic status of my country.

During the 4 years away from home I grow up as an independent and responsible person.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Feb 28, 2009   #2
Some fixes for you:

"After high school graduation I had to decide which colleges I am going to apply and what major to pursue."

"A great impact on my decision did my father, who has graduated from Gubkin Russian State University of Oil and Gas with major in petroleum geology." Revise to "My father, , who graduated from Gubkin Russian State University of Oil and Gas with a major in petroleum geology. greatly impacted my decision"

"This is one of the best schools in that field in the former USSR."

"oil is the most important of the few products exported from Kazakhstan to other countries " The crossed-out phrase is redundant, since it is implied in the word "exported"


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