Personal statement about the reason why I chose marketing -UK PS

art and business at the undergraduate level in the uk

As a person who grew up in a prosperous environment, I was fortunate to cultivate my interests apart from the family business. While I do have an interest in business I hope to study in Britain, where I can find a perfect combination of art and business at the undergraduate level

I have been developing an interest in marketing since an early age. I recall my mother asking me why I liked to watch advertisements when others switched the programme while waiting for the TV show come. I love watching advertisements when I was kid, my mom said it was because it has vivid color, frequent image change and simple language, which makes me able to accept it quickly. However, as time passed, and my interest for advertisement still growing and I realized that marketing and advertising could be an option for me at university.

When I was 15, I participated in in ASDAD business stimulation competition and played the roles of creative director and vice-president in the group. In this competition, I designed an app for players to be in a game where everything is exactly what it is in reality. The conception of the game was to create a virtual reality in two dimensions, where players could view commodities such as houses and clothes in an interactive environment and get their purchased goods shipped to them immediately.

The game was conceptually interesting, so it's eventual failure struck a deep realization. I realized that it is important to communicate the value of a product efficiently to your customers, otherwise you could not be successful even though you have got a fascinating concept. Found the original one too verbose

Not long after, I decided to do an internship in the marketing department of Guangzhou Baojian Trading Co. Ltd for a month. There, I witnessed the whole process of how marketing works. I considered it akin to helping to raise a child; when someone has a creative idea, essentially it becomes a child they birth. As times moves on, you need to evaluate its potential and capability. After that, you must check whether there are any vital drawbacks, set a budget, analyse the profitability of the project. This is the process of brand building and development, it intrigues me as the most important component of any business. Particularly, I am obsessed with the 'the creativity of advertisement and the topic of the psychology of customers.

Attending an international school have been truly fruitful, cooperation with others has become and essential part of my high school life. During my Theory of Knowledge course, me and my partner who is a Korean are asked to give a presentation about "To what extent do can a work define as an artwork". We found an artist called Li zhuangping, who consider his daughter as nude model in his painting. She considers these paintings are inappropriate to the society because their relationship. While I think they are acceptable if both of them agree with the way they make art and it just the way to express themselves.We had an argument for a long time. Then, I decided to separate it into two part, I will do the argument and she will to the counterargument. Our TOK teacher was impressed by our presentation and this makes me I know how to present my own opinion and accept the cultural differences without offending other. In addition to other subjects, I am currently studying business management, English, and visual art. Business courses had built a solid foundation of the subject, including an understanding of consumer trends and branding in marketing, and learn more about balance sheets. English lessons have developed my writing and speaking skills that are essential for communication in business. Also, I have studied visual art during my entire time in high school. The experience has not only has aided my aesthetic sensibilities, but also has helped me maintain my creativity and fuelled my imagination and passion for this subject.

I am keen to pursue a career in marketing especially in a fashion related industry. 'the knowledge that I hope to gain at university would allow me to develop a solid foundation for both theoretical and practical approaches to the global market, so in turn, I can make informed decisions when analysing how to advertise products and studying buyer behaviour. I am highly confident of my ability to complete my undergraduate courses successfully and pursue my career objective of becoming a successful entrepreneur in the future.

@Yunqian Gan There are a number of elements that not important in this personal statement. You can remove these 3 paragraphs without affecting the overall presentation of the essay. Our aim is to remove the paragraphs in order to create a more fluid and better presented essay on your part. You should remove paragraphs 1, 2, and a portion of paragraph 6. You should remove the following parts from paragraph 6: "Attending an international school have been truly fruitful... In addition to other subjects" You should start with "I am currently studying..." because that is still within the discussion parameters of a personal statement. Since you have freed up space within the essay, you must add the missing element at the moment. A personal statement is never complete with a discussion as to why you chose to study in the university of your choice in Britain. You do not have to discuss why you chose to study in Britain in general. It is the information about what influenced your choice of university that matters more. That should be your second to the last paragraph in the essay.

Thanks a lot!!!!!
I have a question-" what influenced your choice of university that matters more. That should be your second to the last paragraph in the essay."

But this is a personal statement for UCAS so I cannot claim a specific reason what influence my choice of university. Also,is there other informations I should include in my essay as I already delete more than 300 words?

Thanks again!

I wish you had indicated that this is a UCAS statement from the start so that we could have immediately aligned the responses with it. Anyway, it isn't too late to do that now. All you have to do is replace the part that I am asking you to remove with a reference as to your overall impression of a British education and why you feel like you will thrive under that academic system. Now, your tendency will be to talk about Britain as a tourist destination in this portion. Don't do that. Try to get to know the British college educational system. Compare it with the system in your country. Then consider the positive difference that the UK system has over the Chinese one. Discuss that in the paragraph. That will show that you have given a great deal of thought to your international education and it is not just a way for you to get out of your country for 4 years. These changes will be generic enough but still, be important enough to make a big difference in your UCAS application.