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Personal Statement: Running and Learning


howard19930429 1 / 1  
Jun 28, 2011   #1
It is drizzling slightly when the sun is setting. I am jogging at a steady pace on my own in the woods, having a private date with the dusk. The drizzle clears off the dusk in the atmosphere. The air is filled with fresh smells from the soil and the trees. The soft earth, blooming flowers and lush trees not only please my senses, but also liberate me temporarily from daily details such as tons of homework and complex relationship. Appreciating my jogging, I am able to savor nature and relax.

I did not always love to run this much. My realization of the benefits of jogging or running was superficial after joining the cross-country team last fall. I took part in cross-country for a simple but specific reason - losing weight. Tough training and regular races made me practice extremely hard. When I was running or racing, two things that I kept in mind were that I needed to lose fifteen pounds and to get a decent place in the meet. I was grateful to be on the cross-country team and made remarkable improvement and looked fitter than before. At that time, this solely profited my physical health and developed my interest in running. My goal more or less limited my comprehension of running.

My understanding of running did not deepen until this spring. I became a member of the running club because of my desire to run rather than the goal of losing weight. This time, there were neither mandatory trainings nor competitive races. All I needed to do was to run or jog at my own comfortable pace and enjoy the running. It was a foggy dawn on which I was jogging on the cross-country course by myself to do morning exercise. Groups of deer passed in front of me into the woods in a sudden, which surprised me and made me commence to look at the course from a different angle. I found something beyond my expectation on the course this time-it was not a course on which we scattered our sweat anymore; instead, it was a journey on which we appreciated the nature. The course was much more lively and quiet than before. The trees and flowers along the course seemed like they were watching and cheering for me. I felt unprecedentedly relaxed and contented when running without tension or a specific goal. My mind was clear so that I was able to calm down. I was myself at this moment and self-reflective. All of this results from the absence of plans.

My newfound comprehension of running aroused my curiosity of exploring the appeal of studying and learning. Caring too much about grades had made me feel stressed and overwhelmed even though I worked really hard. On a bright and sunny afternoon, I attempted to re-read The Red Badge of Courage with a cup of green tea and do response writing, freeing myself from any worries or concerns about grades. I found it the most excellent time of reading I have ever had. Henry Fleming's escape from the first battle did not show his cowardice to me at this time. After placing myself in his position, I realized that seeking to survive and fearing death are humans' instincts. The reading and writing did not make me feel stressed like before when I had them as assignments with due dates; instead, it was an afternoon that could not be more relaxing and enjoyable. Reading a book is not only to prepare for a test or a paper anymore, but also to appreciate it as a piece of art.

I would not have found the actual delight and charm of running or learning if I kept thinking about the destinations or results. Paying no attention to academic grades allows me to feel less stressed about learning than before. I study now for the sake of learning and enjoying. My favorite AP Chemistry Laboratory-Separation by Chromatography-introduced me to a real chemistry world, which not only consists of vapid theories and formulas, but also comprises vivid color and fun. Learning, as well as running, emphasizes the process. Enjoying this process always leads me to numerous unexpected discoveries.

It is the first draft of my personal statement. It might look a little bit immature. I really want some valuable comments. :) Also, there are about 700 hundred words and I have to cut it down to less than 500. Which sentences do you think might be superfluous? Thanks for all the comments.
amrosca 4 / 130  
Jun 29, 2011   #2
Hei there! :D

I don't think your essay is immature at all. It's a great thing that you discovered what you enjoy and also learned to enjoy the world around you through running. And your motivation is really inspiring. You seem to be a gorgeous person! ;D

I would say you can compress the second paragraph. Make it just a short summary of your first experience with running.

I also think it would be better if you would use the past tense in the first paragraph as well, because you leave it hanging out there without continuing it. [I hope that makes some sense.]

My newfound comprehension of running aroused my curiosity of exploring the appeal of studying and learning. -- I think you should now step a bit aside from the running experience and go deeper into the fact that actually detaching yourself from norm and worries and other stuff like that makes you enjoy what you're doing. What I don't like about this sentence in particular, is the "comprehension of running" part. Better use something similar to "my new way of perceiving experiences".

I hope this has been at least a bit helpful. Good luck! :3
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jun 30, 2011   #3
because of my desire to run rather than the goal of losing weight

Excellent wisdom here.. The new guy at the temple offered to wash the dishes, but the master was not confident that the new guy knew how. "I know you can wash them in order to make them clean. Here, we wash them in order to wash them."

You have lots of potential! Read 3 journal articles in professional journals about the aspects of chem that interest you... and infuse the essay with that energy.
OP howard19930429 1 / 1  
Jul 9, 2011   #4
Do you mean that i can use this wisdom in my essay? if so, how?

Do you need to mention about reading those three journals in the essay?

Thanks a lot!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 11, 2011   #5
Do you mean that i can use this wisdom in my essay? if so, how?

No! I just meant that I was impressed with the wisdom that underlies this idea you expressed. :-)

About the journal articles, it's like this: When I write, I feel like I am just making up stuff that has no substance... Like you, I write well and have good ideas, but I feel that an essay like this is incomplete until I cite some research or mention current events. By doing this... well, it's like adding nuts to the candy bar. But if you are alergic to nuts, disregard this advice, ha ha.

Anyway, you are already impressive. I just wanted to suggest looking at some articles and then looking again at the essay... and see what different ideas you get.


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