Prompt: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are? Word Count:570
The Willpower to Succeed
Growing up in today's society, it is easy to see all the things people take for granted. One thing that I have always disliked about the people in my area is that everything in their lives was given to them. Anything they wanted was given to them. Of course, this does not only apply to materialistic objects but also the feelings of bliss and mirth. Growing up in an upper middle class neighborhood, I know that I should fall into this mold of society, but I do not. Everything I have ever wanted in my life has had to come through my self-motivation and determination, as there was never anybody to give me anything.
From an early age, I knew I had to be self-reliant in order to succeed, that my success was solely based upon my merits. One of my proudest moments came when I was eight years old, as a wide-eyed second grader. I was bedridden for a week due to the stomach flu. When I came back to school, I discovered that a huge project was due, but I was unable to complete it due to my illness. While all the other kids had a week to do it in class, my teacher gave me a day. So I went home, opened my backpack, and got to work. It took me until 10 p.m., mind you, I was eight, but I finished the best chameleon research essay and diorama possible. I turned it in the next day, and when we all got the project back the next week, I finished with the highest grade in my class. This is a signature moment that stands as a testament to my dedication and resolve.
As I grew older and entered into middle school, my whole attention turned towards sports. I became attracted to sports such as football, baseball, and basketball. As I started playing these sports in teams and leagues, I soon realized that I wasn't as gifted athletically as the other kids were. It seemed like everything came naturally to the other kids according to their fundamentals. I could just never grasp the concept the first time. Often, I would stay after practice with my coaches, so I could improve my fundamentals. During practice, I would work harder than anybody else to try to improve. Despite all of my work, I never really played much because I still wasn't a great player. Rattled but unshaken, I continued to work at my game and seek to improve on my own. At home, I was constantly shooting baskets, practicing my swing, and improving my hand-eye coordination. Over time, I gained enough skill where I could finally become a decent player. I started to earn playing time in all these sports over these naturally gifted athletes. Even though I was never the best naturally, nobody gave more effort or determination than me.
As I continue to grow in maturity and in age, I constantly rediscover the importance of effort. As my days in high school start to dwindle, I realize that none of my accomplishments were possible if it were not for my hard work and willpower. It is a trait that has persisted throughout my entire life, which has given me an identity. Just as I had done before, as I continue to do, and as I will continue to do, I pride myself in determination.
i totally agree with Kondite you should include more from your High school experience.
and i feel that it is little bit too wordy, you also should work on it , maybe you can cut some parts without loosing any meaning .
I did not spot any grammar errors while reading though.
Good luck with your application!
