Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspiration
Family values are the very foundation of Filipino culture. Big families are usually a must. With five siblings, I never went without someone to play with. What my parents never realized, however, is that their standards for success would accumulate with every respective child, leaving me with an unbearable burden.
I've realized that the pressure of doing the right things - such as being skinny, getting good grades, going to college, and acting responsibly - and not making mistakes sure to break their hearts that my siblings did- such as getting pregnant out of wedlock or moving away - seemed to weigh down on me. I profoundly needed my parents to accept and love me. I've always tried to prove to them that I am worthy of their love and able to learn from my siblings' mistakes.
This pressure affected my self-perception and compelled me to conform into a person that would do or say anything to gain a person's approval. To illustrate: my grandmother used to like me, before I became overweight. I remember how, when I saw her, I immediately thought to myself that if I told her I was beginning a new diet, she might approve of me, so I did. But instead of her approval, she eyed me over and gave me a sharp smirk. This cut me to pieces and I wept until I had red, puffy eyes. I imagined that she would approve of me if I at least tried to be the person she wanted, but instead I only received her scorn.
I realized that the more I focused on the way others saw me or expected me to be, the less I accepted myself. Thus I was often angry, tense, and intolerant. On the outside I turned into a phony; but on the inside I yearned to be recognized and appreciated by my friends and elders. An atmosphere of negativity surrounded me, everywhere and always.
Then two years ago, when I was feeling depressed, vulnerable, and ugly, God acted through my best friend to lead me to a new understanding of things with which I had been wrestling for such a long time. This friend, in whom I trusted and confided, showed me how I had come to despise myself. She had become weary of my many doubts and complaints. She simply insisted that I stop worrying about what others thought or said about me and that I should just be me. It took all of my fifteen years to grasp the simplicity of accepting human diversity.
I realized that I had nothing to prove to anyone. I saw that I possessed a singular and unique greatness which had nothing to do with comparison to and acceptance from others. I have now walked into my true identity of magnificence, determined to be the exceptional person I was created to be. My name is Glory-Gee. My name defines me; I am great beauty and splendor, marked by exquisiteness and resplendence. No one can change that.
You've written a great essay, and the only advice I can give would be to describe how your experience and realizations has shaped your dreams, what are your dreams?
Please edit my essays in return I'm also applying to a UC school!