Applying to Stanford, Harvard, Columbia, NYU and a few others. This is a pretty early draft of one of my college essays. Doesn't really flow/connect at the moment, just wanted to get some feedback - deadline, as I'm sure you're aware, is in a few days.
I have nothing to lose, and I love it. I was offered a job with Microsoft earlier this year, and I decided to accept. But nothing is stopping me from handing in my resignation when I please. I don't have a family to support, and I don't have bills to pay. What I do have is ambition.
A few years ago, Steve Jobs said something that really struck a chord with me: "... you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future." And that's what I'm doing. I want to discover what I really love. And I don't know what it is yet, but I certainly won't rest on my laurels until it presents itself.
I want to go to college because I want to see where it will take me. I don't need to go to college - I want to. I want to meet great people, learn something, and have a good time. And along the way, I want to do something that matters - I want to enjoy the celebration of making something fantastic for everyone. I'll always have at least one vocation to fall back on, so why not.
For the creative and the ambitious, we're plagued with difficulties different from those of most. We fear stagnancy, we fear becoming complacent, and losing all that we've built up. So we keep going, and to quote The Whole Earth Catalog, we "stay hungry, stay foolish."
The first paragraph seems unrelated to me. It comes across as cliche at times, and other than showing how much you want to go to college, it doesn't say much else about you. Please read my NYU one. Thanks! :D
It's a bit choppy, but great nonetheless. Great quotes! Your essay shows that your aspirations clearly. If you just rearranged a few things here and there, you're all set.
If you have time, it would be great if you checked out my NYU supplements. Thanks!
