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'the stigma of being gay' - B for UT is a little TOO personal?


britttt4 3 / 9 1  
Nov 12, 2012   #1
The topic is choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I chose the issue of homophobia and intolerance/acceptance of it. This is a very personal experience and I'm not sure if I should use it.. Any help?

America is suppose to be the land of the free and the home of the brave...
Only for those who are straight, that is. Homophobia is a large issue in our country today, with more than one third of all lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered high school students attempting suicide. That is one third too many, yet very little is being done about the issue of acceptance, or tolerance, at the very least, in the United States. Not only is this a personal issue for myself, but it's also an issue that has major relevance all around our country.

During my sophomore year in high school, at the ripe age of sixteen I experienced first hand what this intolerance feels like and believe me, it isn't pleasant. Dating someone who is the daughter of Christian pastors may not have been the brightest idea on my part, but I pushed back the words of my conscience telling me to be smart and went with my heart. It didn't take long to feel the wrath of two people who desperately wanted me to stay away from their daughter, but I thought I was "in love" and I was practically blindfolded to the reality of what was happening. I was completely unaware of the emotional repercussions that homophobia would have on me, but I found out soon enough. Numerous calls, voicemails, and text messages were left on my phone advising me, not only to stay away from their daughter or authority figures would be involved, but that I was going to hell.

For over a year, I hid who I was from my family and friends. I put up with this bullying from two "people of God" all alone. The hate that I felt outweighed anything else that was going on in my life, yet I still kept it to myself for fear of being judged. The feelings I was bottling up hurt almost as bad as the words that were being said to me. I shed more tears than a sixteen-year-old girl should have and I had horrible thoughts about life that should never have crossed my mind in the first place. My friends slowly started to trickle away, my grades plummeted downhill fast, and my beloved sport of Cross Country wasn't as enjoyable as it once had been. The toll these words had on me were unlike anything else that I had ever experienced, but I was stuck in quick sand, and with every move I made I sank deeper and deeper into something I found that I didn't really want to be involved in. It took me getting to my lowest point emotionally before I finally was able to pick myself up and walk away, but not before all that had happened did its damage. I'm in a better place now, but many people that are part of the LGBT community are still suffering in silence.

Although our country is making progress with this issue, there is still a lot of prejudice surrounding the stigma of being gay, but this is the 21st century, where discrimination should be at a minimum. This is the second highest reason children give for bullying, so our battle with this prejudice is far from over. This is an issue that I have experienced first hand, so for me, it is an extremely important issue to take a stand against not just in my local community, but nationwide. In this day and age, no child should live in fear of being bullied, whether it is from another child or an intolerant adult, because of who they are. The land of the free shouldn't have a disclaimer that says "for straight people only;" all American citizens should have the freedom to be themselves.
maripili - / 2  
Nov 12, 2012   #2
Numerous calls, voicemails, and text messages were left on my phone advising me, not only to stay away from their daughter or authority figures would be involved, but that I was going to hell.

I'm in a better place now, but many 'people that' are part of the LGBT community are still suffering in silence.

but many ='people who'

Also LGBT, try to put the complete name instead.

In this day and age, no child should live in fear of being bullied, whether it is from another child or an intolerant adult, because of who they are. The land of the free shouldn't have a disclaimer that says "for straight people only;" all American citizens should have the freedom to be themselves.

I'm not so sure about this part " In this age and age", you should change it to "Nowadays" or something else that you might prefer .

Good look
sidney007 4 / 10 3  
Nov 12, 2012   #3
Hi!!
I think you can cut down a little on how Homophobia affected you.It would be better if you wrote a little more about how it has affected your country.It would get you rid of the "little TOO personal" thing.

Otherwise the essay is great.
OP britttt4 3 / 9 1  
Nov 12, 2012   #4
Any tips on how I can incorporate the significance of the issue to myself AND to the country/generation?
sidney007 4 / 10 3  
Nov 12, 2012   #5
You can write about a rally or a protest or something big like that ,that you probably participated in.You can also write about how you might have helped or intend to help others from the LGBT community.

Because you have mentioned the importance of this issue to you in the concluding paragraph you can write all these things in the second last para or just make a new one.
OP britttt4 3 / 9 1  
Nov 13, 2012   #6
I want it to mainly signify the significance to me... I'm not sure if this is even a good essay to submit to colleges? Maybe I should just write about a different topic? :/ HELP!
Mario8a 1 / 3  
Nov 15, 2012   #7
This is suppose to be a world of reason, where intolerance makes this live more mediocre.You touch me with your essay and I think is very brave from you to express this. You should keep this topic and how being gay has made you unique and what people don't see in that.
OP britttt4 3 / 9 1  
Nov 15, 2012   #8
Thank you, I think I might end up using it.
srbsingh 1 / 4  
Nov 15, 2012   #9
I think if you're not confident of the topic then you should probably not write on this topic .... try out some other issue like some issue that is specific to your region of residence..
OP britttt4 3 / 9 1  
Nov 16, 2012   #10
This is definitely an issue that is specific to my region of residence. I am definitely confident in the topic, I'm just not sure it's completely appropriate to submit to a college. I mean, I don't want to get denied because of my essay topic.
vadalis 4 / 12  
Dec 13, 2012   #11
The overall essay is good :) the topic is really touching and personal. But your writing style seems very roundabout.
It didn't take long to feel the wrath of two people who desperately wanted me to stay away from their daughter, but I thought I was "in love" and I was practically blindfolded to the reality of what was happening

could be written something more like..
the pressure from her parents was numbed by the intense infatuation i felt. Reality seemed distant.
My english is not very good but i think you get the point! :)
also, the last paragraph can have a bit more impact.
Good luck for the application!


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