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Stipendium Hungaricum Motivation Letter BSc on ChemEng

iudex 1 / -  
Dec 31, 2022   #1
I know this exceeds the maximum limit of characters (4000), but I need help to review my overall result. Thank you in advance.

letter of Motivation

My desire to study chemical engineering was significantly influenced by my upbringing in a rural and industrial area. I was exposed to the industrial processes used to create products from raw materials at a young age. I was intrigued by the ability of these processes to create something from nothing. This piqued my interest in the science underlying these processes and how they could be applied to the creation of new products. My exposure to the surrounding area further piqued my curiosity. It has also provided me with a deeper understanding of the natural processes that occur in nature and how they can be used to create sustainable and environmentally friendly products. I saw firsthand how the release of pollutants and other hazardous materials can impact the water environment. This made me realize how crucial it is to comprehend the science underlying these processes and how they can be utilized to create products with minimal environmental impact.

According to the Indonesian Ministry of Environment and Forestry, the total amount of wastewater generated in Indonesia in 2019 was approximately 29.2 billion cubic meters, with only 8.7 billion cubic meters being treated. This means that approximately 20,5 billion cubic meters of untreated wastewater was discharged into rivers, lakes, and other water bodies. This issue arose from a lack of investment in the sector. Government investments in wastewater treatment infrastructure have not kept pace with demand. In addition, numerous existing treatment technologies are obsolete and ineffective, resulting in inadequate wastewater treatment. It implies that there is much room for improvement, and my passion for a clean environment motivates me to be a student who actively participates in activities to improve the quality of the surrounding environment and create an ideal space for students and locals to collaborate on the development of society.

Because of the chemistry club's discussion of membrane technology, I began to develop an interest in more advanced chemistry topics. Using active sludge and carbon, I created a water filtration tool for the canteen as my final project for this topic. This project had the potential to be appealing to numerous chemistry competitions. My campaign to raise awareness of Nuclear Technology for the Environment helped me become one of 20 finalists (out of 200 competitors worldwide) in the IAEA International Student Science Competition in South Korea. And to be a laboratory assistant who tutored juniors and assisted my junior on the day of the experiment. Due to my previous experience as a laboratory assistant, I began to explore my interests through Olympiad-preparatory courses in Nuclear Physics, Polymer, and Separation Process during my senior year. From that point on, I gained a deeper understanding of how to create a sustainable environment. As a result, I am now extremely motivated to earn a Bachelor's degree in Chemical Engineering.

Having been exposed to an international learning environment, I desired to expand my knowledge on an international scale, and so in 2020 I participated in a student exchange program and was selected nationally to study in the United States. Indeed, due to the COVID outbreak, my desire to grow must be put on hold for the time being. Instead of lamenting the lost opportunity to study in the United States, I delved deeper into how countries are confronting wastewater challenges, and shifted my focus to how Hungary has successfully dealt with this issue. Membrane bioreactors (MBR) are an advanced technology for treating wastewater that combines biological treatment processes with membrane filtration and is superior to all conventional technologies. Membrane bioreactors (MBRs) are increasingly used in wastewater treatment plants in Hungary. In 2021, the number of MBR systems in Hungary increased by 33%. The cities with the largest MBR systems are Budapest, Miskolc, and Szeged. This is rich and valuable information for me and my country to acquire.

To achieve this goal, I need a solid education and skill set, which I can acquire by studying in Hungary. Hungary is a great place to study due to its educational environment and high academic competition, both of which could inspire me to perform well during my studies. Furthermore Living in Hungary will be very convenient due to the low cost of living. Although English is not the native tongue of its people, they are able to communicate effectively. This is a wonderful opportunity for me to convey academic and cultural knowledge to them, and it will give me the maximum international exposure for its hetererogenous society. Since I enjoy interacting with others, I am able to request academic discussions with other Awardees and the Indonesian Student Association, as well as assistance in an emergency.

I intend to pursue my B.S. in chemical engineering at X University. This program provides an integrated approach to process design and optimization that will enhance my ability to identify and develop new environmentally friendly pathways and strategies for utilizing renewable resources. X University also offers coursework in Environmental Chemistry and Polymer Processing, which is ideal for me as I intend to create a wastewater treatment system in Lampung using nonionic flocculants. I am confident that studying at X will satisfy both my academic needs and my desire to improve my personal skills, as it offers a vast range of extraordinary programs.

In the future, I'd like to return to Indonesia with the knowledge I've gained from your institution and actively promote broader perspectives and comprehension within the company. With my experience in international networks, organizational background, and scientific leadership, I believe that Stipendium Hungaricum will be an excellent bridge between Indonesia and Hungary for future scientific development. I want to contribute to this economic relationship by, for example, finding a solution to the waste water and sanitation issues in both nations. My commitment and enthusiasm for the scholarship program make me an ideal candidate for the award, I am confident. Thank you for your consideration and time.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,217 4648  
Jan 1, 2023   #2
The first paragraph would be more impressive if it does not refer to any age aspect. Use the first paragraph to represent your early exposure as the fundamental motivational influence for your course choice. It would create a more interesting hook for the screener.

Update the influencing information to the most recent available data. 2019 is a bit too far back to be considered in 2023.

Because of the chemistry club's discussion of membrane technology

Offer a back story as to how you became involved with the club first. The presentation is abrupt and lacking in proper connection from the previous paragraph to the next. An fact, the mention of the government data feels out of place in its current spot. I am sure you can better fit that into the discussion.

The essay could be shortened as you said. It is pretty much on track but could need rewriting as you revise and edit the paragraphs.

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