Autobiography
In a very pleasant summer in the windy city of Chicago Illinois, I was born in the month of July 1963. It was a memorable year for so many people because it was the day that the president of the United States of America, John F. Kennedy, was killed. At the same time blues, rock & rock came alive. My parents met each other after coming to America as farm workers. Shortly after they were married, my parents had five children. I am the first born of three other brothers and one sister. This is just the beginning of the story that is my life, a life filled with rich experiences, family, and God.
When I was about seven years old, I moved back to Puerto Rico to live with my grandparents. My grandparents gave me a home with a solid Christian environment. The influence of my cousins and families from the "States" helped reinforce my outside influence of the English language. The roots were there, but as the days went by and the time dictated our destiny, I was married and had two wonderful children, one girl and one boy.
I remember the day that my wife told me she was pregnant, I felt nervous and confused because I did not know how to be a father or how to take care of a baby. I remember that I started crying and was scared, but at the same time I hugged my wife and started to kiss her and told her how much I love her. It was the most beautiful experience watching her belly grow; touching and feeling a human being inside the person I most loved. It was incredible! It was a wonderful experience to see the birth of my little defenseless baby girl, red and crying. I held her trying to understand the power of what happened on this special day. If anyone ever has doubted in God, the birth of my baby girl was the perfect example of the love that God has for us. Holding in my arms this little angel and looking at her was the most beautiful experience in my life, holding her as if someone would take her away from me or harm my baby, I did not take my eyes away from her. I started to thank God for this gift.
A year later, God rewarded me with a baby boy, the most beautiful creation that God created. This time, I felt like I won the lottery because he was just like me. At the moment that I set eyes at this boy, I was very proud of him. His arm and body shape was big, and even though he was just a newborn, his chest and arms were firm and strong. I never thought that I could fall in love with another baby as much as I loved my baby girl. Time has escaped through my hands so quickly that I did not have time to catch up with all the blessings that I have received from God.
If I had a chance to rewrite my history, I would do exactly the same thing. A perfect wife, perfect daughter, and a perfect son. Observing my kids grow up has been very rewarding because they are excellent kids. Throughout their life my wife and I touched them with the same moral principles which we were brought up. These days my two little angels are in college finishing their last year becoming professionals with excellent grades. As a result of all this love that we brought our children, my family has grown up. My daughter has a wonderful husband with two beautiful grandchildren. My son has also made me proud. He taught me many good things: his dedication for college his determination to be the best in college and the love that he have for his gorgeous Philippine girlfriend, never ends. The story of my life has taught me so much but it is far from over. I cannot wait to see what else it has in store for me.
Nice touching story, but it needs some grammatical corrections and also I thought it was your biography not your children's , I understand that they are taking most of the space in your life but at your place I would have written more about me than on my children, because its Autobiography.
This part is worded in a bad way:
It was a memorable year for so many people because it was the day ...-----it was a memorable year because it was the day... that is not good, because it sends a confused message. Simplify! :-)
... most beautiful creation that God created. ---A little clunky here. It's always awkward when you talk about a creation being created.
Right here it is mixed up, too... they are not her grandchildren: My daughter has a wonderful husband with two beautiful grandchildren. ---So, you should change this so that it specifies children instead of grandchildren.
At the end, it seems like you are just writing whatever comes to mind. That is not so bad, because you have a lot of great ideas, appreciation, and a nice way with words. But with any essay you should use a theme. Make it so that there is one central message or lesson. And don't just make it something simplistic, like, "God creates beauty in our lives." It should be something slightly different from what people have heard... your own special way of explaining an important insight.
Share that theme at the beginning and also at the end. :-)
