It's my first time post something here. :) kinda nervous
Here are my NYU supplement essays. Hope someone can offer me some advice. My first language is not English, so be picky about my grammar!
Thank you so much!
1.Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.
I always have a dream- to see my store's logo appear on people's shopping bags. I have a lot of preparation already- I volunteer at local charity shops, work at the reception desk at my mother's hotel, waitress at my father's restaurant. I even opened an online boutique with my friends. I know business is not easy, but I am ready for this challenge. I believe NYU, with its academic excellence and unlimited resources, is the right school for a motivated business major student like me.
2. NYU is 'In and of the City' and 'In and of the World.' What does the concept of a global network university mean to you? How do you think studying in New York City, Abu Dhabi, or one of NYU's global sites would change you as a person and equip you to build cross-cultural relationships at NYU and beyond?
Having traveled to many countries, I always have a craving to know different cultures, to go "global." NYU, as a world-renowned global network university, offers me such an amazing opportunity to explore the interdependent relationship between cultures. The unlimited resources offered by the university and New York City can not only help us recognize our roles in this world, but also push us to get involved in various activities that define us as responsible, self-aware and upright individuals.
3.If you had the opportunity to bring any person -- past or present, fictional or nonfictional -- to a place that is special to you (your hometown or country, a favorite location, etc), who would you bring and why? Tell us what you would share with that person.
It's my grandpa, who past away few years ago, who first taught me about being an upright and independent person. I would love to bring him to my school- to meet with my teachers and friends, to see me performing with the choir on stage, to watch my presentation in class, to see my name on the Honors Roll, to cheer for my tennis match. I want him to witness my metamorphosis from his little girl to an upright and independent young woman, to know that I did not let him down and let myself down.
thank you so much,sylovely!:)
The third answer seems to have sentences that are too long. Why don;t you divide and spare a separate sentence? Also metamorphosis does seem to be out of place and not natural.
I suggest you use words such as development or growth.
The last part would be better if it is just "I did not let him down and myself."
I do think "metamorphosis" is kinda awkward. I think I'll change it to "growth."
Do you mean "I did not let him and myself down?"
I am still thinking about how I can break the long sentence apart.
than you!
