white-collar workers purchasing cigarettes
how about something like salarymen purchasing cigarettes after their long day at work? I don't really see connection of white-collar workers and cigarettes..
It was in the middle of downtown Toronto, so we get all kinds of people
all kinds of customers
their attire, attitude, language
language? you mean the languages they speak? maybe you should explain more on that.. and how you know what language they speak..
I'm not sure where exactly this passion will take me, but I know it will lead me to understand and help someone in some way.
I liked the very last sentence of your essay, but I didn't particularly like the sentence that came before that, the sentence I quoted. 'I'm not sure' part makes the rest of the essay less "important," if you know what I mean.
But otherwise, I loved the general feel of the essay, very smooth and warm. I think Williams will like this essay
I would really appreciate it if you comment on mine too :)