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GW Straight Med essay? So incredibly lost. Guidance?

shahindian2009 8 / 12  
Dec 12, 2008   #1
I am having a very difficult time answering this question: Why do you want to join GW's straight med?

In our innovative, constantly evolving health care system, more and more advancements are occurring. For example: new vaccinations for cervical cancer (Gardisal), new surgical methods, and new tests to discover genetic conditions (comparative genomic hybridizations). However, there are still prevalent problems that affect poorly educated and poverty-ridiculed populations of third world countries with deadly diseases like AIDS, hearts attacks, and cancer. George Washington University, known for it's ideal location and extensive research, will be the perfect place to propel my idea of educating those in low-income situations, forward.

My religion, Jainism, elaborates on one word - "Ahimsa." Ahimsa is the idea of how non-violence should be used to promote compassion towards all living beings. With that foundation, my passion to help others has grown drastically as I participate in activities that involve educating my fellow human beings. Recently, I volunteered at Red Cross blood drives, the local settlement houses educating senior citizens about their health, and interacting with patients at local hospital.

I have become a leader in the youth council at my temple by helping to sponsor, through volunteering and fundraising efforts, numerous free medical camps for indigenous low-income families.

"Thank you for your kind help! Without you, my mother may have died..."

These were the inspiring words said by a girl to me whose mother had just been diagnosed with breast cancer through a free mammogram during a medical camp I organized.

Due to the early stage diagnosis, the mothers' cancer was reversible. This satisfaction of my efforts is a constant encouragement that one day, I will be able to change numerous peoples' lives for the better through education.

All countries are "gilded", a term coined by Mark Twain to refer to a society which appears to be falsely glossed with gold. However, once the surface is scratched one can see that it merely has gold paint covering the polluted metal. To solve this problem we must go below the surface to the dark metal and scrub it until it is clean and polished. Thus, to scrub off the false glossy image and make changes, I have made it my life's goal to enhance a non-profit organization, dedicated to educating and providing medical supplies to the impoverished throughout the world.

Thus, submerging myself at school by enduring rigorous International Baccalaureate Middle Years program (IBMYP), traveling to many countries across the Globe, and interacting with patients, have made me realize that there is a new world of opportunities waiting to be grasped by education and awareness. To achieve my goals, I must have my own expert knowledge in the medical field to educate a world that is constantly struggling.

To pursue my goal of an active leader in the medical field, my future begins at George Washington's University BS/MD program. Now, why George Washington's straight medical program? As a young girl from southern California, I never thought I would leave California for the east coast - until I stayed in Washington DC for two weeks. I felt that the DC area is the right atmosphere where I can study for my future seven years.

Interacting with current successful GW students, studying the GW website, and comprehending all the wonderful programs that are offered, such as the honors program, and a whole division set aside simply for community service, I know, I absolutely know, that GW is the best fit for me.
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 12, 2008   #2
I see what you mean. This actually reads like two essays. The first one is an explanation of the reason why you want to join a medical program in general. The second one, tacked on to the end, is the reason why you want to join GW's program in particular. Really, I think this could be made into quite a good essay simply by working on creating a smoother transition between the two parts, and by elaborating a bit more on the second half. In terms of the transition, simply maintain the style you have been using up until you make the shift, instead of drawing attention to the transition by phrasing it as a question. So, "Having decided that I wanted to pursue a medical career, the only question became where to take the degree. Georg Washington immediately recommended itself for several reasons . . ." then expand on what those reasons were. What exactly about the DC atmosphere caught your attention. What separates GW's program from its competitors? (Hint: reflect back whatever they say in that regard on their website) What sort of community service does GW do, and how do you plan to participate? That sort of thing.

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