STREET GUITARIST; NYU - my movie, Beautiful Song

In the year 2050, a movie is being made of your life. Please tell us the name of your movie and briefly summarize the story line.

Beautiful Song. [My name] travels the world to conduct research for her book. On her journey she is touched by the stories of a Thai ex-con missionary, an African child soldier, a French film director dying of cancer, and a tribal chief of Peru . At the end of her expedition she cannot reach a conclusion. Before her flight she observes a street guitarist. She realizes that each string is unique, but together they make one beautiful song. Each person represents different strings: good and evil, new and old. As ugly as life may be, man's ability to persevere is what can make it a beautiful song.

Great job on this because it summarizes the characters of your movie as well. :)

It seems more of a synopsis rather than a storyline. It didn't much tell about what has happened in your life. Try to go to the path where you tell specifics about the highlights of your life.

Take these as suggestions.. things to consider.

If you've got time, I'd appreciate any feedbacks on mine.

I'm not sure how to talk more about my life because of the word limit. What do you suggest I take out?

This is what I changed it to:

Discovery. [my name] travels the world to conduct research for her book. On her journey she is touched by the stories of a French film director dying of cancer, a tribal chief of Peru, a Thai ex-con missionary, and an African child soldier. Through her expeditions she learns the importance of perseverance and culture, and the hardships of survival and regret. As she learns more about this people, she also discovers more about herself.

Better version! Very brief and informative of what's gonna happen.

If you got time, check out another version of my essay and leave a feedback.