Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
People always say home is where the heart is, but what if my "home" is no single physical place. Though a home can be considered as the house that I live in, it is also the many different places that I have visited throughout my lifetime. It's walking through the city of Hong Kong with my grandparents every summer, traveling to new places with my family or even just sitting in the car waiting for the next great adventure to happen. This love for the unknown and new experiences will always be who I am. It has given me a new perspective on life because not everyone shares the same beliefs and traditions as you do. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by many different viewpoints on life, which gave me the opportunity to be more accepting to other people's ideas. By traveling to the many new places throughout life, I was able to see other ways of living, which helped me break out of my set comfort zone.
When I was younger, I hated trying anything new. Why try something new when I could be happy with what I already knew? Why risk feeling disappointment and embarrassment when the old could give me the comfort of familiarity? My comfort zone gave me a way to make myself feel like I belonged and safe from the dangers and humiliation of the outside world. However after backing out of bungee jumping with my family in Macau during one summer, I realized that I might have missed out on my one chance in life to do it. The regret that I was never going to be able to have this opportunity to have this ever again helped me realize that I only get one chance in life, whether to bungee jump, pet a tiger cub or even just go to senior prom. Eventually this led to my love for travel and experiencing new places. It didn't have to be a different country or even an airplane ride across the country. All I wanted was to just see different places in the world, whether Europe, the East Coast or even just a city 2 hours away for a day.
Home can be thought of as a place where one feels most comfortable. Eventually, my home became all the different places that I visited. It was the streets of Hong Kong. It was the freeways up to Reno, Nevada. Surprisingly, it was also all of the plane rides during summer vacations. My love for new adventures helped me become who I am today because I wouldn't be the person who tries something new so that I wouldn't feel like I missed out on something that could have changed my life. I would not be a person who is open to learning about new ideas to help follow my dreams of becoming a physical therapist. And I would definitely not be the person who has found a home, no matter where she goes.
Growing up in San Francisco, I am fortunate enough to be surrounded my many different viewpoints of life, from animal rights to the anything else that a person can believe in.
The wording of this sentence could be better, it is hard to understand. You state that many people around you have many different opinions, be more specific.
However, this is only one viewpoint of life. This does not pertain to the sentences before it. What is the one viewpoint? Sounds confusing. I think the word viewpoint is actually the wrong word to use: you are referring to people's beliefs.
You have the right idea, your topic is great and shows off your personality, just remember what the college wants to hear- the school wants to know that you have a plan for life, so try to explain this, even if its in one sentence that ties the essay to your goals. Good luck :)
I think u can put more emphasis on certain experiences to make the story a little funnier to read. As u've listed in the article: "bungee jumping with my family in Macau, pet a tiger cub or even just go to senior prom", choose one or two of them to describe. A descriptive narrative is both interesting and meaningful. At the least, it tells us more specifically about you, not about any other girl.
Another thing is that maybe you can reread every paragraph and make a summary, see if each paragraph coherently transits? I personally found them a little off the topic.
Hope it ll help :)
