Hi, this is my personal statement, can anyone please look over and comment on it? Thank you!
prompt: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I was born and raised on the streets of Vietnam, watching young innocent children being pull into the life of drugs and abuse. The heroin addicted gambling on the streets, trying chance their way through to afford their addiction, withering through the last days of their lives. Witnessing children stitch themselves with doses of heroin, I quickly learned that no matter what pain or suffering those children went through, narcotics would not heal their pains, and only would create new ones. Seeing the grown ups gambling on the streets, doing anything they could to scrap up a few dollars, I've discovered the direction where Vietnamese society was heading.
Ultimately though, my time in my homeland came to an end. Seeing that their children should not be raised in such a destitute world, my family moved to America, hoping I would receive a better education, and be brought up in a more peaceful, safe, sable environment. But no matter how long I stay here in the land of the free, I could not erase the images of my home, I could not forget the scene of innocent children being forced into a life of drugs and addiction; somehow I feel that I am still connected to that society, and I feel that I am obliged to return to the streets where I was raised, and to bring the same education, blessings, and the knowledge I have been gifted by this new land back to my home, to share such knowledge to my old community, to protect the new generation and educate the old, hoping that someday those streets will be like the ones I reside on today.
With that goal in mind I will push myself to guarantee such ambition be realized, therefore I wish to further pursue my education in hopes of passing it onto my brethren in Vietnam, so that my dream would be, one day my homeland may become as safe and prosperous as my other homeland; America.
This story gives me chills just reading through it the first time. Absolutely haunting experience, I have to tell you.
Logistically, though, there is something missing. Can you be specific about "kids and drugs" the second time you mention them? That would help bring more insight into your life story.
Other than that, very concise!
