"Strict But Loving Father" UC Prompt #1

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

My father never blatantly showed his love for me during my early childhood. His lectures would always focus on my failures. It was rare for me to ever hear a compliment or receive help. Even though he earned so much money, never did he spend it on unnecessary objects like a gaming system or toys. I never believed that he cared for me and this would sometimes drive me to tears. It is so obvious that my father cared for me yet I couldn't bring myself to understand him. It was not until I reached High School and realized the importance of his actions. His love for me was not superficial but a love that guided me to this point. Perhaps he wasn't the ideal father, but it was thanks to his actions that I continued to find a deeper meaning in life and discover the importance of the future.

His dream for me to learn about science and math started while I was a toddler. He would spend whatever free time that was available to educate me on arithmetic and the science in the world. Learning science was one of the greatest challenges during my childhood but it was that difficulty that made me strive to comprehend the sciences of the universe. Never once did I give up trying to understand the complexities of the scientific world. Ever though my father has stopped instructing me in the sciences, I still move toward a path in the scientific realm. It was the education that I received from my father that influenced me to strive for a greater comprehension of the science in the world.

There were times when I was traumatized by my failures, but it was thanks to my father that I was able stand back on my feet and combat the problems at hand. The lectures on procrastinating and failing to look at the future were painful; however, my father reminded me that it isn't the end of the world. "Never live in past otherwise you'll never be able to move on forward." To be honest, there have numerous times in my life where previous problems haunted me and hindered me from looking to the future. It was his lecture during sophomore year that made me realize the significance of looking to the future. After receiving a C in computer science, I believed that I could never recover from such a horrible mistake. My father helped me realize that it wasn't too late to repent and improve upon the situation. It was this scarring event that made me realize that I still had so much to improve and that moving on was the only way to progress toward a brighter future.

It is hard to discover anything when your father shelters you from the distractions that the world has to offer. Yet it was thanks to my father that I was able to find a deeper meaning to my life. His hardships taught him the importance of hard work and determination and although I failed to meet his standards, I now understand that intelligence alone will only take someone so far. It is because of my father that I am determined to work hard and learn what makes the world go around.

It is so obvious that my father cared for me yet I couldn't bring myself to understand him. how was it obvious? It was not until I reached High School and realized the importance of his actions. what were his actions? His love for me was not superficial but a love that guided me to this point. what point? Perhaps he wasn't the ideal father, but it was thanks to his actions that I continued to find a deeper meaning in life and discover the importance of the future.

this whole paragraph sounds more like a conclusion than something you would want towards the beginning of the essay. I think you have an interesting and potentially good topic and an interesting approach to it, but you need to revise this and go further with it. avoid cliches like "makes the world go round". College don't hate anything more than they hate cliches in essay! I would know, I work in admissions at my college =) good luck.

Thank you so much! Also if anyone can please check for grammar errors and such, it would be much appreciated.

It was not until I reached High School high school that I realized the importance of his actions.

His love for me was not superficial but a love that guided me to this point. ---Not clear. I don't understand!

This is well-written! I think it will be better if you include more specific examples of how he taught you about the importance of hard work and determination --- what did he do? And how does it relate to your chosen career?

...and learn what makes the world go around. I think you can be more specific here... the essay will be better if you think of 3 specific goals for the next 5 years, and keep them in mind as you revise the essay. Don't just learn what makes the world go round. Near the beginning and end of the essay, mention your specific goals.

:-)