Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


'Striving to become better' - Personal Quality (Competition)


kylekazee 1 / 1  
Nov 8, 2011   #1
Hi! I need help proofreading my personal statement. Could someone please help with grammar errors / constructive criticism with my essay? pros/cons. thx

Prompt#2
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Almost ever day I wake up from my bed groggy and tired. I always wonder why I get out of bed every day and even bother going to school. After thinking about my past experiences, I have realized that my extreme competitive nature helps me succeed.

Even in middle school my goal was to be better than everyone else. I participated in the Mathcounts group my 7th and 8th grade years. My countless hours of studying paid off when in 8th grade, I placed first in the Mathcounts Orange County competition with a perfect score in the sprint. I have never felt so proud in my life to be the first person in my school to achieve a perfect score. I have then realized that hard studying pays off in the long run, regardless of how tedious it can be.

Even in high school I have noticed my competitive behavior. About nine months ago, I joined my high school drumline hoping to make new friends and learn more about music. I had walked into auditions with no idea how to read music. Despite my failure at auditions, they had an extra synthesizer spot available. Striving to become better, I began to practice learning new music almost every day on my piano at home. After all of my hard work, I have realized that I am now one of the fastest people in my drumline to learn and sight read sheet music. My dedication and competitive nature had driven me to become a better musician.

Both of these experiences have made me realize how important my competitive nature is for my dream of becoming a business manager to come true. Business managers have to let their competitiveness take control of them so they can strive to be the best manager they could possibly be and have their business succeed. Competition is what drives workers as well as students to always put out full effort hoping to succeed in life.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Nov 10, 2011   #2
Almost every day I wake up from my bed groggy and tired.

Even in middle school, my goal was to be better than everyone else.

I have then realized that hard studying pays off in the long run, regardless of how tedious it can be.

After all of my hard work, I have realized that I am now one of the fastest people in my drumline to learn and sight read sheet music.

My dedication and competitive nature have driven me to become a better musician.

Competition is what drives workers as well as students to always put out full effort in their goal to succeed in life.

Nice! Good luck in school and have fun!

:)
Guest /  
Nov 10, 2011   #3
I have neverNever in my life have I felt so proud in my life

so they can strive to be the best managers

:)


Home / Undergraduate / 'Striving to become better' - Personal Quality (Competition)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳