Please assist me in giving good constructive feedback to improve. I am using it to apply for universities and I want honest opinions, should I add or talk less about something? Thank you so much for your time!
On my ride back home to New Jersey from New York City on the guagua, as my Dominican family and friends refer to the Jitney shuttle buses, I was casually listening to hip-hop music by the artists I grew up with like Kanye West and Tupac. Suddenly, YouTube recommended a band unfamiliar to me. As the first F power chord of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" sounded in my earbuds, I was instantly hit with a grainy riff followed by the aggressive flams on the snare drums. The sheer yelling and violent undertones of Nirvana's music were unlike anything I had ever heard before. I felt so much emotion behind this one song that it led me down inarguably one of the most important paths of my life yet.
One instrument stood out to me the most; this guitar felt chaotic, unlike the upbeat chords found in the Bachata music I grew up with. I instantly wanted to learn to replicate Kurt Cobain's guitar, his signature grunge style. That same week, I traveled to the Sam Ash Music Store in Times Square and my mother generously bought me my first instrument, a black electric Fender Squire Stratocaster. I taught myself from simple video guides on YouTube from creators like Marin Music Center. I managed to learn the basics; frets, strings, and chord progressions. In two weeks, I accomplished what I had once fathomed to be unattainable; I learned the entirety of the song. This feat, however, only made me hunger for more.
Understanding the limitations of advancing my musical abilities on my own, I turned to a guitar teacher, Mr. Yong. In addition to helping me improve my aural skills and technique, he also exposed me to new genres such as bossa nova. The softer, euphonious tones inspired me to save up to also add an acoustic and classical guitar to my collection. Consistently going to guitar lessons on Bergenline Avenue, I gradually began to improve skills such as the speed at which I changed chords. One day, Mr. Yong asked me if I wanted to start a band, and I happily agreed. Guiding others and finding a balance between instruments, it became clear to me that diverse musical perspectives serve as a means for the creation of a different type of sound based on the unique blend of juxtaposing styles.
Music continues to shape my day-to-day significantly. It serves as a refuge from the issues I face in daily life. It is my escape from familial stress, worrying about my distant relationship with my father. Certain songs, such as "Back To The Old House" by The Smiths, allow me to venture back to times when I didn't have teenage responsibilities such as balancing taking care of my nephew after school with ten classes. During times when my sadness gets the best of me, certain songs propel me through the melancholic days. Additionally, my lessons with Mr. Yong have only continued to improve; the complexity of the songs I play is more difficult, and he persistently puts my skills to the test. My patience has also heightened as I occasionally find myself sharing what I have learned with other guitar-playing friends, allowing us to creatively express ourselves. Most importantly, the guitar has allowed me to connect more deeply to my roots, giving me a newfound love for both salsa and merengue styles of music, which I can effectively bond with my family over.
Sounds can bring people together in a beautiful way. I find the words to speak through the language of music, being able to express myself with how aggressively I strum, and how clean or distorted my amplifier is. No matter the situation, whether putting on my headphones or performing for others, I am transported to my own realm where I can escape the noise of the world, all while finding peace in the rhythm of music.
On my ride back home to New Jersey from New York City on the guagua, as my Dominican family and friends refer to the Jitney shuttle buses, I was casually listening to hip-hop music by the artists I grew up with like Kanye West and Tupac. Suddenly, YouTube recommended a band unfamiliar to me. As the first F power chord of "Smells Like Teen Spirit" sounded in my earbuds, I was instantly hit with a grainy riff followed by the aggressive flams on the snare drums. The sheer yelling and violent undertones of Nirvana's music were unlike anything I had ever heard before. I felt so much emotion behind this one song that it led me down inarguably one of the most important paths of my life yet.
One instrument stood out to me the most; this guitar felt chaotic, unlike the upbeat chords found in the Bachata music I grew up with. I instantly wanted to learn to replicate Kurt Cobain's guitar, his signature grunge style. That same week, I traveled to the Sam Ash Music Store in Times Square and my mother generously bought me my first instrument, a black electric Fender Squire Stratocaster. I taught myself from simple video guides on YouTube from creators like Marin Music Center. I managed to learn the basics; frets, strings, and chord progressions. In two weeks, I accomplished what I had once fathomed to be unattainable; I learned the entirety of the song. This feat, however, only made me hunger for more.
Understanding the limitations of advancing my musical abilities on my own, I turned to a guitar teacher, Mr. Yong. In addition to helping me improve my aural skills and technique, he also exposed me to new genres such as bossa nova. The softer, euphonious tones inspired me to save up to also add an acoustic and classical guitar to my collection. Consistently going to guitar lessons on Bergenline Avenue, I gradually began to improve skills such as the speed at which I changed chords. One day, Mr. Yong asked me if I wanted to start a band, and I happily agreed. Guiding others and finding a balance between instruments, it became clear to me that diverse musical perspectives serve as a means for the creation of a different type of sound based on the unique blend of juxtaposing styles.
Music continues to shape my day-to-day significantly. It serves as a refuge from the issues I face in daily life. It is my escape from familial stress, worrying about my distant relationship with my father. Certain songs, such as "Back To The Old House" by The Smiths, allow me to venture back to times when I didn't have teenage responsibilities such as balancing taking care of my nephew after school with ten classes. During times when my sadness gets the best of me, certain songs propel me through the melancholic days. Additionally, my lessons with Mr. Yong have only continued to improve; the complexity of the songs I play is more difficult, and he persistently puts my skills to the test. My patience has also heightened as I occasionally find myself sharing what I have learned with other guitar-playing friends, allowing us to creatively express ourselves. Most importantly, the guitar has allowed me to connect more deeply to my roots, giving me a newfound love for both salsa and merengue styles of music, which I can effectively bond with my family over.
Sounds can bring people together in a beautiful way. I find the words to speak through the language of music, being able to express myself with how aggressively I strum, and how clean or distorted my amplifier is. No matter the situation, whether putting on my headphones or performing for others, I am transported to my own realm where I can escape the noise of the world, all while finding peace in the rhythm of music.
