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Study aboard is one of my academic goals ; Personal statement


KeepCalmWrite 1 / -  
Mar 3, 2014   #1
Hello there,
Could you please give some suggestion for my personal statement for the application of study abroad? I need to delete 33 words, because now the essay has 300 words limit. Thanks in advance.

Study aboard is one of my academic goals in University of XX. Study aboard will make the most out of my learning experience in University life. I will be able to gain a better understanding on how business works globally and gain a competitive edge of future education and employment. I will also be able to expose to new cultures and gain better insight of my own.

I choose my host universities in UK, because UK has advanced development in Actuarial Sciences that I study in. I fascinate about UK spends billions of pounds each year on financial products such as insurance, pension and mortgages. They have experts who are in managing worldwide risks. I appreciate their social benefits for citizens. I am eager to learn about how the experts operate their benefit system, so that I can make good use of it for improving Canadian benefit system.

Studying in UK will not only satisfy my eager to learn but also improve my cross-culture interpersonal skills. I will have the opportunity to meet people from different backgrounds. I will learn about their cultures as well as show my Canadian friendly culture. I am a member of Chinese Actuary Network in Europe, a non-profit organization committed to provide networking globally. I will be so thrilled to connect with them in UK.

I had experienced the benefits of study abroad, when I was an international student from China to Canada. I am always proud of the decision I made. I have countless amazing stories about the experiences. It helped me understand how to appreciate my life and how to have a broader perspective for others. I gained a life-long friendship with my host family.

I am a mature and independent person who knows how to navigate my life to live the best of it. Study aboard will improve my personal growth and career development potential. My global experience will become a critical and impressive part of my resume apart from other candidates for any applications.
jennifer2000 - / 3  
Mar 3, 2014   #2
A 300 word essay has to be precise and concise and it must not deviate at all from the thesis statement. I read your essay and the beginning and the body is loosely constructed, in other words its not a gripping piece of writing. Whats more is that there is no conclusion. what is needed is a really simple but a gripping account of a personal statement. Since this is only a 300 word essay i would suggest a professional writer to do it and you can get it done for around less than 50 dollars it would be money worth spent. there is this blogger at blogspot his blog is called topgradesnow. you can search it in there there is suggestion for professional writer. hope this was helpful


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