I would really appreciate any advice anyone can give me on this prompt. I'm not so sure I wrote it well. Also, I can't add much more without being over the limit.
Thank you very much for any help.
Prompt: For applicants to The Fu Foundation School of Engineering and Applied Science, please tell us what attracts you specifically to the study of engineering.
For all my life, I have had both a strong desire to understand how things work and a keen ability to find out. From fixing things around my house to developing major features in the software of my school's FIRST Robotics Competition robot, this set of attributes has always proven to be useful. As a computer science major, I will be able to utilize my problem solving skills to make revolutionary innovations in a wide variety of technologies.
I think you should explain WHY you love doing these, not just repeatedly explaining what you are good at.
I think this explains more of why I want to study engineering.
I've been having a lot of trouble in writing this essay because its been hard to find a good way to say that I want to study computers because I find them very useful and interesting.
For all my life, I have had both a strong curiosity to understand how things work and a keen ability to solve problems. As engineering is largely a study on understanding and solving problems, I am thrilled with the prospect of becoming an expert in a field that exactly matches my interests. Computer science has always been a particularly fascinating subject for me due to the massive variety of uses computers have. A degree in computer science will enable me to make revolutionary advancements in this field that will benefit the entire world.
Great job, but it can be even better. How about writing about them in comparison with one another... or how they can go together in your life? You can also make it more meaningful by thinking of what your philosophy of life is, and how it leads you to these interests.
Try to make it as personal as possible. I know it sound cliche, but if you can relate you interest in engineering to something besides your fascination your essay will stand out. Good luck!