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'to study in US instead of studying medicine here' - personal essay?


soeyunaing 1 / -  
Dec 18, 2011   #1

Prefer Engineering and Marine Technology to Medicine Study



It's really warm while I am always lying on the bed between Mom and Dad. I always ask Dad about current political issues on the bed while Mom is trying to kick me out. However, sometimes, Mom tells me about her college life while Dad is sleeping beside me. When I got lower grades, when I got depression, when I fought with others, at night, I used to go to my parent room and listen to Dad's encouragement with Mom's supportive hug. I am just grown up by passing cool tranquil time with my family-Dad, Mom and my elder brother. There aren't any big changes in our family except my grand mom funeral and my brother failure of matriculation examination. However, now, I am the one who is going to change my home situation.

"I decided to study in US instead of studying medicine here." I declared my decision to my family in an arctic tone. My mother was shocked as soon as she heard my decision but my father was starring through the windows and he remained silent. My brother was the first one who asked me about US education system but he's eager to know more about finical aid. "It would cost around over one hundred thousand dollars according to seniors" I replied. Mom and Dad were going to their bed room without saying anything. My brother seemed upset and looked at me like I am insane.

When I feel down, when I feel disappointed, when I get depression, there's only way to alleviate my feelings. It's listening to my parent's meaningful words by lying on the bed between Dad and Mom. Now, I already on the bed but I am not in between Mom and Dad. I try to continue telling my decision to my Dad who is closing eyes and taking a big breath. Dad starts telling me about his opinion even though I try to tell him first. He tells me that he honestly can't afford the amount of money that I said, nevertheless, he want to fulfill my wish. He promises me that he would try him best to get me into the state and he tells me to leave the bed room. Obviously, Mom doesn't seem well and she doesn't tell me anything. This is really awkward. Ok. Thanks parents, I will try to be your ideal son.

Honestly, I am not interested in medicine, engineering and marine technology which are famous subjects in Myanmar, my country. I usually don't do any stuff if I am not interested in them since I was young. May be I am stubborn but I won't spend my precious time in uninterested stuffs. This becomes a problem that Mom wants me to attend the institute of medicine which I have no desire about it. My family can afford to support my study in my local town but not on abroad. As I like challenging, struggling and competition, I don't want to continue my college life here and I feel like I can't see any great opportunities if I am staying here. That's why I decide to study in US where my talent can reveal.

May be Dad will sell our house. May be my brother will stop his education and try to get a job. May be Mom will try to borrow money from others. My beloved family might support me what kinds of difficulties come. Even my Dad is planning to sell our house; I won't let my Dad sell our house. If my brother is trying to support me without continuing his study, I just will sacrifice myself. In addition, I never let my Mom borrow money from relatives for my dream. "To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there" Dad cheers me up .If Dreams are families, Dreams are necessary to life. My dream-to study in US is still alive because my family is still together with me.
Xavier19 4 / 7  
Dec 18, 2011   #2
parent's room
brother's failure

I honestly don't like this essay, no disrespect to you, but it came off too personal and not enough about you. That's just my opinion, but I do however like your writing style it is very descriptive and lackadaisical. I believe this could be a good essay if you change some details to make it more about you and less about your family.
babygurl2012 4 / 15  
Dec 18, 2011   #3
I don't like the beginning. You should grab the reader's attentions and really show them what you got! The conclusion could use work as well!


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