Any criticisms and feedback are highly appreciated!
Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests? (Please limit your response to 650 words.
Essay: One of my favorite quotes about math is "The study of mathematics, like the Nile, begins in minuteness but ends in magnificence." I am fascinated by math and its elegance. I always have been.
Ever since I was a child, I always have had a strong curiosity for math. After I heard the anecdote about Gauss, I would constantly add number from one to one hundred and still shocked by the sum of 5050. I would consistently draw a polygon and connect the each vertex to see how many lines are possible after my lesson on geometry.
This curiosity developed to passion after my first lesson on geometry. I did a very simple activity: I drew many dots as close as possible to form a line, then I drew many lines as close as possible to form a plane. I was amazed by the idea that everything in the world just starts with a simple, tiny dot. The formation of complexity from a simplicity and insignificance is a profound amazement that I cannot help but drawn deeper into. I started to learn about prime numbers as they are the building blocks of every other numbers, just like the dot in the lines and then in the planes. My extended essay research on the importance of prime numbers in cryptography further amazed me the roles of primes in today's world. The research also helped me to discover my other interest - computer science - as now my enthusiasms in math are not limited by only pure and theoretical ideas. I want to apply math in every day life. I want to turn the elegance and beauty of pure math into something practical to real world.
It was then I decided that Cornell is my perfect fit college. With its motto "I would found an institution where any person can find instruction in any study" I believe my opportunities and knowledge are not bounded by the disciplines, but by the limits of the curiosity and the willingness to apply them to the real world. I want to take classes such as Math 1350 that lets me explore the art of cryptology from classical era to modern times, Math 3360 that enables me to learn more about concepts of number theory and its application, and CS 5830 that further enhance my knowledge on cryptography and the proofs of security. I want to join REU program to taste what a major mathematical research looks like. I want to work with professors such as Nicolas Templier on number theory and the randomness of prime numbers, Ari Juels on security and privacy of the data, and Camil Muscalu on theory of zeta function that ultimately connects to the distribution and prediction of prime numbers.
Just as Cornell prepares me to become independent, initiative, open-minded and brave in the face of new experiences, I can add a new perspective to the large population of Cornell. Growing up in China for thirteen years, I can share my experiences and teach Chinese to those who plan to study abroad in China. I want immerse others into Chinese culture by learning each other's stories and by getting past the stereotypes and misconceptions that too often divide us. Most importantly, I want to share my passion in math to others and help them build confidence in math and promote their interest.
Once I come to Cornell I will be challenged, supported, guided and prepared for a lifetime of meaning. I want to invest this place with the full measure of my curiosity, intelligence, creativity and human warmth and the returns will be priceless.
The whole part about how you can contribute to the college through your Chinese culture may be a little detracting to your overall message. But otherwise, through this essay I completely understand and can visualize your interest and passion in mathematics. Congrats!
Great and clear writing!
In the second paragraph, I think you could change all the "I would.." into "I added", "I drew"
Also, I think instead of the class numbers you could include the full name of the classes if word limit is not an issue? Since admission officers wouldn't know the numbers..
Overall I think this is a strong clear essay
