Dear Visa Office,
My name is Pham Quang Nghi, I was born on June 29th, 2004, in Vung Tau City which is about 110 kilometers away from Ho Chi Minh City to the East. Currently, I am going to finish my study at Le Quy Don High School for the Gifted, majoring in Math in Vung Tau City. Today I am writing this letter to express my strong desire to study at the University of Alberta, Canada.
During my time in high school, even though studying in the most competitive school in my province, I was still able to maintain my solid grades. Also, thanks to joining some clubs at my school and a volunteer project relating to conserving the environment, I have gained many experiences along with some useful skills. In grade 12, I took the IELTS test and got an overall band of 7.5. As my graduation time is coming, I have to start thinking about my education in the near future.
Studying in developed countries has always been a dream for many students in developing nations, and I'm not an exception; however, finding a suitable destination is a significant problem. Fortunately, after a long time of researching on the Internet, I have found that Canada is my optimal choice due to the following reasons: First of all, Canada has a well-known education system whose degrees are valued around the globe. Secondly, Canada is a multicultural country, which helps international students like me feel close to each other and teaches us the necessary skills to deal with people from various backgrounds. Furthermore, Canada is well-known for its affordable living cost and safety, which are also very important to foreign students. As a result, this is definitely the right country for me to pursue my academic path.
Coming to the University of Alberta, one of the top universities in Canada, besides getting an undergraduate degree, I also hope that I can learn all the useful skills that can boost my employment opportunities in the future, as well as expand my relationships with people from all around the world. I chose to study Computer Science as I have always had a great passion for Math and computers since I was in secondary school. In this modern era, technology is the key to every company's success because of its effectiveness and convenience in producing goods and promoting them, which can remarkably increase their income; hence, there are a lot of job opportunities in this area, leading to a large number of applicants for these jobs every year. Holding a valuable degree from one of the best universities in Canada for teaching Computer Science would give me a clear edge over other applicants when I come back to Vietnam to work.
In fact, studying Computer Science in Vietnam these days is not a bad idea because now lots of universities have been able to offer more quality programs as well as more modern facilities than in the past; however, their qualifications are clearly not as globally valued as those of Canada. Additionally, lectures in Vietnamese universities still focus more on delivering theoretical rather than practical knowledge, which in my opinion is not always useful for my jobs in the future. Thus, I prefer studying in Canada to studying in Vietnam when it comes to my university education.
After graduating, with all of the precious knowledge and experiences gained from my time living and studying at the University of Alberta, I will return to Vietnam to finish my biggest dream, which is to contribute to my country. Besides this reason, as my family is still living in my home country, I need to be back to take care of my parents when they are older as well as to support my younger sister's career.
To conclude, in order to reach my life's important goals, I firmly believe studying in Canada would be a solid fírst step for me since I was convinced by Canada's comprehensive and competitive education, as well as high security and affordable living budget. Finally, I am very grateful that you have spent your time reading my study plan, and I really hope that you can help me to move one step closer to my dream by accepting my application.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Pham Quang Nghi.
**Every feedback is appreciated! Thank you in advance!
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 
4780 The letter itself is too long and requiring a better information presentation. The visa officer is not interestedin your autobiography nor your academic history. He is interested only in 2 things, the reason why you chose to study in Canada and, proof that you will be returning to your home country upon completion of your degree. Both of which are not the focal point of this presentation. The revision should focus only on these 2 aspects.
For the reason you chose to study in Canada, there needs to be more solid considerations other than information that you researched. There is no history of a prior interest in Canada as far as the officer is concerned. You chose Canada only after researching countries to study. That weakens your position as an applicant. Further weakening the choice of country is the choice of university. There is no evidence that the student has chosen the university based on academic targets and potential career outcomes once you return to Vietnam. Why Canada and the university beyond the research that you did? Where is the personal interest and academic insight? It is not there.
As for proof that you will return to Canada, you cannot just say you will return, you need to prove that you have reasons to return to Vietnam beyond your family ties. Something that may be difficult for you to do since you barely touched on that topic in this presentation.
