Hi,I wrote a study plan to convince Canadian visa officer my application of study permit ,there are a lot of grammatic and logical problems I can not see,if anyone could correct it for me I will be appreciated.
study plan for Canadian study permit
Originally I was a International sales representatives in Taiwan in the beginning base on my intermediate English and German communication skills. years after, I set up my mine to see the world, during driving and solved mechanic problems experienced in foreign countries I found Vehicle Mechanic makes me great fun. after I back to Taiwan ,I started my motorbike trade-repair online service on free lancer basis. considering self-learning mechanic in garage won't lead me to higher career and join Automobile Mechanic program for me is not only to continue my education but also expand my knowledge, As result, I decided to attend private Aviron institute de Quebec,
Aviron is the only technical school in Quebec which can choose English or French as main educational language for same training program before people attends.Because Private school means high Quality of Education in Quebec. living in bilingual city, I will be able to improve my fluency and capacity for either language as I further my studies
however, Automobile mechanic program in my country does differently system ,our training focus on more theories instead of doing practical. on the other hand, the diploma in Canada is globally recognized. living and tuition fees for international students in Canada are generally lower than in other countries such as the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia. Canada as the best place to live should be more safety compare with european countries and the United States.
By me,through this program, the same knowledges can be applied into motorbike Mechanic which I have already expert and reinforcement by new knowledge. In the future I might be able figure out how eletrical Vehicle work by advance studies,
on the other hand, the diploma can be the proof of my professional skills ,convince my customers and expend my services. in addition, Canada experiences and French language are protentially allow me steps into international service in the future.
some of the day I might do international business by ex-and import used Vehicle or parts from modern countries to third party countries. and that Mechanic knowledges might help me with design new type of transportation.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478
Tilly, a study plan needs to show more than just the interest that you have in studying in Canada. You have to convince the visa officer that your line of study is something that will truly be beneficial to you upon your return to your home country. What will the focus of your studies be? You need to prove to the reviewer that you have an imperative need to study Automobile Mechanics in Canada. What is the goal of your studies there? What do you hope to achieve in terms of research and internship opportunities? I am lost about your actual course here. Are you applying for a college degree or a masters degree? You need to make that clear in this essay. Additionally, you have to consider the focus of your academic training. What will you be focusing on during your studies and how do you hope to use that knowledge to help your career upon your return to Taiwan? There are just too many confusing and missing points for this letter to be effective. Hopefully, you can use my observations and questions to write a new and more appropriate Study Plan proposal for the visa officer.