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Study Plan Letter - following a bachelor degree in Agricultural and Environmental Sciences at McGill

Shrimp 1 / 2 1  
May 24, 2018   #1

Study Plan Letter for Study Permit Canada

Hi guys, I will be applying for my study permit in about a month from now, therefore, I have made a first draf for you guys look at ; )

Here it comes:

My name is XXXXXXX, I am 19 years old and a Brazilian citizen. I intend to follow a bachelor degree in Agricultural and Environmental Sciences at McGill University with a major in Life Science and a specialization in Microbiology and Molecular Biotechnology in the fall of 2018.

I have chosen this program, due to the fact, that during my high school years I had develop a curiosity about Biology, and Chemistry culminating in my participation in scientific Olympic of these two subjects during my school years in Brazil. In this competitions, I discovered my fascination for Biotechnology and bioengineering techniques. Because of my country lack of investment in technology and research, I was lead to pursue an education abroad.

I chose to study in Montreal because is the fourth best student's cities in the world, in this year QS ranking, and home to one of the best universities as well. McGill University current ranks between the best 32 universities in the world, and has 12 noble laureates under its belt, the most in Canada. McGill, unlike its counter parts in Brazil, offers me the opportunity of learning with high achieving personnel in my field and provides me the knowledge to make an impact in sustainable energy, pharmaceutical, agricultural, and environment areas in Brazil.

My long term goal is to become a prominent professional in the biotechnology industry in my country and work towards its development. I am confident that by achieving a bachelor degree from McGill will enhances my employment opportunities in my home country and the world as well.

I think there is still room for improvement but I think I am on the right track. kkkk
jalp 13 / 34 7  
May 25, 2018   #2
I chose to study in Montreal because is ...
Because IT is the fourth best student's cities in the world in this year QS rankind. It is also one of the beat universities in the country.

... by achieving a bachelor degree ...
from McGill, IT(with or without this, but will put more emphasis on getting your degree) will enhance (not enhances) my employment ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,028 4247  
May 25, 2018   #3
@Shrimp This being a college study plan letter, it has to answer one important question in relation to convincing the consul officer to give you a visa. That is, what is the professional purpose of your study? Focus on discussing your long term professional goal in relation to your study objectives. It isn't enough to simply say that lacks technology and research in this field. Such a line of reasoning means that the Biotechnology and Bioengineering universities exist in your country. You just opt not to enroll in one of those universities. Therefore, the letter should justify the reason you are not enrolling in your home country by explaining what the focal point of your studies will be. After you explain your "college thesis" plan, you must then be able to explain what the limitations of studying these fields are in your country. Only explaining why your country cannot satisfy your academic and research needs can you then explain how McGill fits into your academic objectives in relation to your professional goals.

It would be best if you revise the essay in order to make it stronger and inclusive of rational reasoning and discussion points. At the moment, this is not very convincing and is really weak in the reasoning department. Try to strengthen the aspects I mentioned above so that the study plan will be built on a more solid foundation.
OP Shrimp 1 / 2 1  
May 25, 2018   #4
Thanks, @Holt for your evaluation of my letter so far. I will definily take into consideration your review and make the nescessary changes. However, to that end I would like you to explain what do you mean by focal point of your studies? If you mean what area of biotech I will pursue when I graduate from college, I am not realy sure kkk. Could you explain it to me?

Why I am not erronling in my country's universities? Because, I am looking to have the best education possible, so I looked to study in the best Universities in the world, with the intent that, in the future, I could became a great scientist and contribute to the scientific endevour. Brazil has some great learning institutions but they still dont compare to those in the development world. The reason for that is the lack of goverment investement in education. That simple kkkk, many universities lack the nescessary equipment to function properly, and to teach their students. (I will try to explain this on my next draf).

Giving you some insite on me now, I probaly pretend on continuing my education and getting a Master or Phd. I plan on doing research, and probaly teaching or getting employed by some major Biotech company. Where and when I will pursue these I am not realy sure kkkk. (Is this my professional purpose of my studies?)

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