Hey guys here is my essay for transfer admisson
"your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve"
Sunlight streaming through the Greyhound window woke me up in the middle of the way to the biggest way of my life for eighteen years. It has been long six hours on the bus in an alien world surrounded by alien people trying to picture what life like there in a few hours away, in a U.S college. I have been always dreaming of attending college in the United States ever since my brother started studying in XXX College. We used to receive XXX College magazine every once in a while back home and for several times either my brother's name or his picture was in it. Once, I could tell how delighted and pleased my mum was through her eyes when she looked at the picture of him working with his professor in the magazine. I was proud of him as well as envious in as sense that I have never seen that look of her for anything I did and I wanted her to pull out that look when she sees me in a magazine of one of the best colleges in the United States, especially in XXX College's magazine.
Thanks to my parents and brother, with their help I took my first steps on the path towards a better scholar and better person. I was thrilled to start my new life with hundreds of American students, however, I had to leave my home country for the first time and take a long journey (across the universe journey) all alone to the YYY College. It has not been always easy to overcome my feelings and weaknesses of myself until I met Palestinian student who had more difficulties to overcome than me. He slept along the Palestinian border for two days to come to the United States and he could not go back for summer to his family. His story changed my attitude towards myself that how lucky I am that being able to go back home for summer. Interacting students from all over the world and being able to hear a real story from them could change one's perspective as his story changed mine. As I came to understand the importance of large diversity on college community, YYY College lacked of diversified students who could tell me more real stories. Not only large diversity at XXX College influenced me to make a decision of transferring, but also green environment, and strong academic program in both environmental and economic program.
Having two economists in the family led me to further study in economics and helped me to understand essentials of it in everyday life. Having been born in the country, of which citizens have to live in full of dust and smoke from the coal burning during the winter enabled me to study environmental policy. Every day, thousands of people in developing poor countries suffer from negative effects of economic related activities such as water and air pollution. Therefore, working close with environment in Arboretum, doing a research with biologist and ecologists in Goodwin Niering center, and having been offered classes such as Environmental economist and Feminist economics will sure challenge me to become one who is able to help people suffering from health effects caused by economic benefits.
Among the numerous reasons of desiring to study at my dream college which has been always only XXX College, picturing of myself studying along the bank of river while watching rowing team competing took my breath away. Being with people from all around the world, studying among students with strong passion for environmental issue, and programs being offered such as internship abroad and SATA will push me harder and help to grow as a well rounded scholar and as an individual. I believe the day will come for my mom to pull out that look again when she sees picture of me doing research in Goodwin Niering center or internship abroad in the XXX rCollege's magazine.
Any input appreciated
Trim away words that make the sentences overly cmplex:
Sunlight streaming through the Greyhound window woke me up
in the middle of on the way to the biggest way transition of my life for eighteen years . It has been long six hours on the bus in an alien world surrounded by alien people trying to picture what life will be like in a few hours, at a U.S college.
I was proud of him as well as envious, in a sense, because I have never seen that look on her face for anything I did -- and I wanted her to pull out that look when she saw me in a magazine associated with one of the best colleges in the United States, especially in XXX College's magazine.
Interacting with students from all over the world and being able to hear a real story from each of them could change one's perspective as his story changed mine.
Among the numerous reasons of desiring to study at my dream college, which has always been XXX College, one of the best reasons is a dream of studying along the bank of river while watching rowing team competing. This image takes my breath away.